The power of D. Eagle (Desert Eagle)

Its a two way road to stardem and fame
There is one for good playas, and the others for shame
Say the wrong shit and u might get framed
By the niggas who were u friends, now they all detained
The anger inside me, now Im going insane,
Its a good thing I can switch between 2 lanes
Caz my head is sweating, my heart is jetting, my hands are petting
my hoodie and wetting, the shit up with buckets of perspiration
If this niggas strike now, there will be no reincarnation
I will commit abductation and kill ur patients
And maybe u to and there wont be duplications
No cloning of the mother fucking fake MC's
When I pull out my Eagle they drop to they knees, saying please please
Dont shot I got cash and i can load ur pockets,
stash it in a place safe place like women's pocket rockets
Caz industry bitches come in and wanna act ur friend
But when u find in the future, it was all pretend
You wanna take ur pen and shove it through his hand
ANd tell him, fuck it I can make my own band
Buy my own land, and burry these old memos in the sand
and make my own label
Put my business with them on the table
Im through with this shit, They unplugged my cable
Ur asses are dead , I will kill u and hide u in my stable,this aint no fable
Dont think I can start again, watch channel 24, my show just begin
Im an undercover cop and a MC to, Who said to u bitches i need you
I got my own loot with out any of u
And make more money then any of u do
My desert eagle is speaking in my mind to
Saying FUck these fakers, MAke them scared like scooby doo
U guys then run away at the fear on me
Dont mess with Raid, he will give no mercy
Curse me and I will gladly shoot 3, of ur best values in life
U plea for me to stop caz my eye is going lazy
My daughter can tell u, Her dad's been gone crazy

to be honest i thought this was kind of an immature verse. 1st 2 lines started good but then it fell off. i just couldnt keep interested. try and come up with some better subject matter. peace

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

The flow for this was off in places. Topic was simple, more of a raw type verse. It seemed like a freestyle, try and work on your line length to make them more uniform.

This was all over the place meter wise, might have more to do with your uneven lines. Kind of repetative as far as schemes goes, and concept wise this has been done to death. Nothing new or fresh or inovating here just more of the same old same old. This lacked in diction although some vocab was thrown in, just not in a very solid manner. Keep working on elevation man, try some new approches and incorperate some complexity into your schemes...