ILLunatic vs TheReinvention

10-30 Lines
Due - Saturday, Feb 5th 10pm EST

Topic: Being Accused for Child Abuse, even though ur innocent

Checkin in.. gonna spit before time is overdue.. so good luck man..

If you drop today, i'll drop today.

Grew up in a small city, where it was quite and unexpecting..
Had my daughter on my lap holdin her at night, and investigating..
the marks on her arms, feet, and her chest was an ingraved sting...
Thought I would put lotion on, to take away the marks and swelling..
She got to school the next day, and the teacher called up to say..
that she had marks all over, I would tell her it may have been a kid..
from her school but instead she blamed it on me her dad she said!..
I was accused as a fool who molested his child sexually in bed..
Said I used handcuffs and beat her until she was nearly dead..
Hung up the phone, let out a groan, slid down the wall and cried..
How could this happen, I sighed and denied all of this, it was a dream..
Locked myself in the bathroom, and let out huge scream..
Taken to court, my daughter sittin with her teacher, and me as a criminal..
That judgmental teacher, would dismantle my estalishments..
I was hesitent to deliver a fair reply, so i kept it to myself for the time spent..
The judge asked, if I had anything to add at the very end..
I snapped, and lashed out and I open my damn mouth and said..
"F*ck you b*tch! my daughter was born, and I love her to death..
Your an ugly hoe! And I hope you die after your next f*cken breath!..
Im sick of you accusing me of untrue statments that are false..
Imma waltz right up to you and I order this court room for a reinstatment call!..
And If Im in jail after tonight, yall will know why! B*tch I hope you die!..
Stay the hell away from my daughter, I bought her everything she wanted..
From her crib to her Nintendo! It was bought with love! Go screw your sluts!..
I hate your F*cken guts, ya hoe! You no good soul! YOU RUNT!! I want you dead..
For all the pain you caused me and her, F*CKEN CUNT! ENOUGH SAID!.."
It was all over, the guards took me away left my daughter a stray...
I was to go to the hard slaughter, no life left for me, i was sentenced..
Fined a million dollars, and never got bail, I stopped cause of repentance..
I died that day, I was sentenced to muder, and i died an innocent molestant..

My bad, I fell asleep last night.

My shit will be up shortly

Aight dude.. just post before 10 pm.. it will be a good battle.. Topical that is.. lol

This is insane, arrested because someone said, my son I abused
To hit my son, I refuse. But still, of that - i'm being accused
Why would someone think that i'd hit my son? I love 'em to death
Ever since he was conceived, I changed my life for the best
Went from sellin rocks on the block, to workin nine to five
Never cared much for life, then he came, and I was glad to be alive
But to hit my son, it's true - that, i'll never do. I love him
No matter what comes along, my wife and son, no one'll be above 'em
" Why are there bruises on his back? "... bruises, what are you talkin about?
I never hit my son!!!.............Hell, at him i've never even shout.
Just ask him, ask his mother... I've never laid a harmful hand on my son
I've put not one bruise on his body! None! You hear me? NONE!
" Sir, please - Calm down. " Calm down? You think I abused my boy
You want to take my son from me. My life, you want to destroy
" Sir, I dont want to take your son away from you unless it's needed "
Then why am I here? I told you the truth, I never hit him, I mean it.
Ask my son himself, he'll tell you. I have never hit him. I never did it
" Sir, i'm going to go talk to your son right now. Calm down, and just wait a minute "
.....*45 Minutes go by*.....
" Sir, your son said that you never hurt him - You're free to go. "
I told you, but where did those bruises come from? I need to kno
" He said he had a bicycle accident, but he says he's fine "
Boys'll be boys. " Haha, Yes. Sorry sir, for takin up your time "

hmm, interesting battle.

Reinvention, you have potential for topicals.. a lot more than battling. however, i feel you took the expected approach and it was too prdictable for my liking. also, your rhyme scheme was too simplistic.. ended a line with "said" three times. it was a decent verse, but too conservative in my opinion.

ILLunatic, i liked what you did with your verse.. the ending especially. i began reading it.. and i was disappointed because i thought you were taking a similar approach on the topic.. the twist on the end was unexpected and creative.. also, your rhyme scheme was more complex as well..


so, for keeping me interested and having a more complex, creative storyline..


v/ ILLunatic


link vs. StatQuo08 in signature.

peace.

Up..

nice guys....reinvention ur better at topicals and illunatic ur just good at all things anyway.... I like ills verse a lil more only because flowed better and better written.... v/Illnatic if i could vote, but I can't yet need 15 more votes...anyways hit my sig battles and vote y'all..... thanks keep itup both of y'all....

Vote.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168767

Anwyays, i liked both pieces. Illunatic had the better story and flow, while The reinvention had some bright spots in his verse. ILLunatic's story was cool. I liked it alot because you took the part of the anguished father whos in court, fighting for his rights. Reinvention, you took a similar role but seemed to drift away from it as the Piece went by. Good job to both.

V/ILLunatic.

Link up top.

Vote Illunatic: Reinvention I really wasnt feel urs, Illunatics was more realistic, I could picture a father sitting there, trying to figure this out, I could picture a father actually writing that. Urs seemed more of a dream, some parts of it didnt rhyme, and ur structure mad things stretched and harder to read. Illunatic came with a more heart-felt scenario, that seems more realistic, and his structure stayed consistent, even had a few multies to help make it more interesting.
LINKS IN SIG

Up... i'll hit those links now.

Aight cool.. uppin for some votes.. Will check out the links later.

Up.