-
Collateral
she's a profound listener, gifted by her instinctive touch
smells aromas and depicts the essence, her senses are clutch
absent of sight, she travels by vibration rather than light
welcoming arms - a comforting delight, pleasure is still in strife
commonly troubled by her own person versus person conflict
she's dealt with
memorizing destination, counter part to flicking the lightswitch
crying tears from her eyes that exist but don't serve a purpose
she rubs her allergic irriation, to her the hazel green is worthless
to exert her feelings, she confronts god with needs...
dear beloved god, i stand behind this curtain of blind
the world at my back contains pleasure i'm incapable to find
bless the necessity i wish, complete the birth's gift
enable my sight, if not i pick another existance to live
she awakes, same body, same maturity at the age of six
same warmth of the blanket, same mirror - "What is this"
astonished, her reflection appears so admirable to herself
dresses, tramples down a story, before the family she knelt
awkward of how her parents didn't notice the drastic change
she yells in amazement of how her eyes have finally became
a confused household, they knew she was never blind
the father figured his abuse has overtaken the feeble mind
on going with the morning routine, breakfast then tv
she's lost in the beauty of being able to see
but the stern looks protrayed from her father made her bothered
she saw his prudent agony unreasonbly towards his daughter
what was once pain, she found bruises blotched on her skin
which only happened to make her hurt more anguisly within
she drank apple cider then went to place it on the coaster
spilt on the elegant rug, abrupt, father boasts at her
arises from his chair, yells as he began to tug her hair
mom pleaded for him to stop, though his anger wouldn't dare
she curried in fear behind the curtain she knew once before
closed her eyes and asked god what this dilemma is for
in reply he proclaims...
my child, you had a loving family, great touch, ears, and smell
you complained your sight tarnished your exceptional life to hell
in collateral i've rid blindness and transmitted domestic violence
the roaring fire inside you is now even harder to be put to silence.
-
-
i lik eit it seams more like spoken word...its hot a peotic peace with real beauty
-
-
Wow im suprised this is being slept on...This piece was good poetic piece...there was great imagery an emotion put into this...this piece was put together well...you did a good job on expressing the pain depicted throughout your verses...Your story telling an concept also as well was very well done...Its just sad to see a good piece like this get slept on so bad...good job...much respect...
if you get a chance hit up my keystyle in my sig...feedback is appreciated thank you...peace...
-
-
my child, you had a loving family, great touch, ears, and smell
you complained your sight tarnished your exceptional life to hell
in collateral i've rid blindness and transmitted domestic violence
the roaring fire inside you is now even harder to be put to silence.
^^This whole piece was good but the end was my favorite part of the whole thing. I think the title fits in perfect with what you are saying in this rhyme. A lot of the things you say in this are true, which unfortunately is not a good thing. I don't know if being blinded from what goes on in this world is a bad thing or not.
-
-
This wa a great piece kerr. Sorry I dont know why I waited so long to respond to it. I love the description that you had in this piece, i think it was the strong point of it. I liked the story but mostly I liked the way you described the women in this.
-
