This is if I was rolling with Shady After math and hated JA-rule to

Ja-Rule is a bitch with some weak ass lines
and his rymes consist of flaws and false crimes
He thinks we all bad caz we have more bills
Then he has Mc kills
Wait a minute he doesnt have a single one
Sitck ur mouth with lead
From a my fucken gun
Caz u a fake ass rapper slash actor
impersonating who he can caputure
Caz he a chicken finger lickin bitch who can rap
Caz all the bullshit he says comes out as crap
not a come back
He comes out with a new groove
Trying to piss me off as a career move
Caz right now his sitting home unhappy
Trying to crack me with weak ass crappy
Ryme that lack thee
Structure and other shit that u need
U better watch ur back
and take heed
Caz i will bring u to ur knees like I did with my old wife
Have ur ass crippled like superman the rest of ur life

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

Work on line length, some were much longer than others. The rhymes were alright, but you gotta set them up better. As for the topic don't pretend your in aftermath, but its cool to hate on ja rule.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raid-R

Ja-Rule is a bitch with some weak ass lines
and his rymes consist of flaws and false crimes
He thinks we all bad caz we have more bills
Then he has Mc kills
Wait a minute he doesnt have a single one
Sitck ur mouth with lead
From a my fucken gun
Caz u a fake ass rapper slash actor
impersonating who he can caputure
Caz he a chicken finger lickin bitch who can rap
Caz all the bullshit he says comes out as crap
not a come back
He comes out with a new groove
Trying to piss me off as a career move
Caz right now his sitting home unhappy
Trying to crack me with weak ass crappy
Ryme that lack thee
Structure and other shit that u need
U better watch ur back
and take heed
Caz i will bring u to ur knees like I did with my old wife
Have ur ass crippled like superman the rest of ur life

---

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is clearly why you do not 'roll' wtih ShadyAftermath.

Nar, i wasnt feeling this man.
It was pretty simple, and a played diss topic on Ja Rule.
Id like to see you write something on another topic

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166208
Peep mine, thanks

Peace

this was a sad piece of work....very sad...sorry man u should really work on yaself...pz

This peace was weak, you need to work on imagery, and ur words a bit. Flow was alittle off 2.. Good luck in the future..

Dude that shit was wack...i understand what you tryin to do but work on oyur lines a lil more...keep elevating and ill hit you up again

eh..........this was a sign that your still a newbie..........you need to elevate......... keep readin other peoples drops on open mics and take after the people who get good reviews.......work on the stucture and try and come up with a better topic cuz ja rules disses are old.........stay up though man keep at it

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...1&page=1&pp=15
^hit up the blade oracles anthem....its raw