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Shit and Bloodstains
Everywhere i go i seem to see nothing but shit and blood stains
And the remains of watching my brothers brain lay on the concrete
In a way makes me feel incomplete all of the deciete of watching brothers lay 6 feet deep
We're digging a hole thats nearly 6 feet steep putting our brothers to sleep
Our population is bound to be 1,000,000 times less than a week
Killing each other more than the romans and the critizizing greek
As i watch little kids on the street develope the same technique
Trying to simulate how to shoot some heat but dont realize there unique
And dont have to be like everyone eles that follows the community
When basically i thought it was all about a unity
Now we act real bad and want to be immunity
But now i acquire the opportunity but i want you to acknowledge
All the shit thats in my brain and i havent even witnessed college
I actually try to do some help and i get it spit in my face as a physical insult
But i understand thats the result from helping a nigga
Dependin on a trigga, neva want to achieve
Never even want to read but believe and when a homie dies they just grieve
They say life is more about giving than trying to recieve
Not tryna decieve, just tryna percieve and watch the unwanted mama's concieve
This is somethin i was just feelin, can you tell me how was it...I was just workin on it
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uppin, i will give feedback at your post just reply to mine!
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thats fuckin hot!!! when i read it i got a feel of nas and twista... more of an upbeat lyricist... i like that... good job, id like to hear it laid to tape, good luck with that shit
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Thanks man, i really appreciate your feedback....Just another nigga livin, im recording it soon....lets see what everyone eles has to say
Like i said thanks!
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This was good. You had some nice multis. Some of the better vocab words looked like they were put in there just because, or not used correctly.
Check out "Insecurity" below.
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This was ok, not the best piece though.
You had a few decent lines, but some wer weak imo.
Your structure was off aswell and it would help if you used some punctuality man, keep droppin
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166208
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I really like this verse, it was deep and good emotion in the words, the structure was a bit off but like you said your just working on it, the flow was nice so was the vocab. overall a really nice verse.
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