Read It!!!!!!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...13#post1995613



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166214







Shima is her name and she 4 foot 11
White knee high boots I guess that means she 4 foot 7
Stretch denim jeans and her walk is mean
I almost hear the pussy calling me
White sweater and nothing under
She leaving very little for me to wonder
Caramel skin hair like she asian
Cause she is she from Malaysia kid
A foot in a half taller and act like a baller
She gave me her number I'm gone call her
Be like "sweetie let me show you what fun is"
"I'm not Pharell frontin I just wanna poke something"
probably get a giggle and ha ha
Wondering on her back I can get her legs how high?
It's been a long night and we ain't even kissed
My hand on her thigh while I stear the whip
Thinking is this a bitch full of shit and no truth
Then she said" I'm tryna cut to"
You do?
I asked with wide eyes and a smile
She said " yeah I was hoping we'd do it right now"
U-turn back to my house we go
Lay on your back and hold my neck with ya ankles
hit it slow
thinking she weak and can't take it
but she was down for getting pounded in the basement
nobody can hear shit except was sounds like a cry
or a cat on fire
I'm straight crushing it like punishment of some sort
every 5 minutes trying a new way to distort
Didn't nut out of shear exhaustion
Broke the condom after all precaution
Oh ,shit I hope I don't get burnt
But where the fuck is that bitch's skirt???? :huh:

I dont know abt this piece man, the first line I liked but thats one small chick lol, but sum of the lines confused me and the structure didnt help.

You had sum nice wordplay like the first line i mentioned, and it was the words u have to say that confused me, im used to that.

Anyways, this was nice drop

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...50#post1995350
Drop feed man, thanks

damn 4'11.........you be fuckin wit them migdet ass chicks...........i was ass big as she is when i was in 6th grade.............but anyway.....other then the size that was a good peice, good description, it gave a good vissual, and good flow but the size bothered me.........that makes me wonder how tall are you????????? good drop though man keep it up......

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...5&page=1&pp=15
hit this up^^^^^^^^^

this had alot of fuel and potential to burn.you do lack complexity and gave a simple text delivery but that helps certain songs so i definetly give this love nice work but elivate

thanks...I feel honored to get props from WORD-PERFECT... I mean judging by his number of posts he ain't no newbie..so thanks...I think I'll make the open mic forum my new home

^^lol at coment

this was hilaroius the whole thing your whole look upon this was hilaroius...but GJ for makin somethin so interesting and not bein like everyone else lately...
dopeness in a comedians way..*critiqued*

thanks man...a hustler from south india once told me that "positivety whispers and negativity screams"-Dilipan sounder(hustler from south india)


Yall are whispering like shit to me lately

this sounds like the shit from like a fabolous cd. get original wit it kid

f-roq: plz shut the fuck up...your feedback is worth shit because your lyrics are worth exactly that-shit....plus your drops are only half the size of this usually, and thats on a good day. talkin about 'get original', thats why you bit off one of novacains drops made like a week ago. :hump:

carlos- I like this, the subject was hilarious- liked the opener (4 foot 11 to 4 foot 7) she must be an oompa loompa or you must be a pedafile, lol-jk
the exaustion/broke the condom after all the precaution was tight too.... keep doin ya thing holmie

Alright peice, nice original concept...

Lacked a little in flow - as it got choppy in places, and I lost the rhyme scheme...

As story telling goes its alright, stayed on point throughout - progressing the narrative with ease... This was complimented with the basic but decent imagery.

Vocab - not much - but I guess it didn't need it...

Nice work overall - not something I would normally enjoy, as it is basic in its structure and other areas... but it was a good read...

Keep elevating...

Peace.

yall are cool peeps I can't wait to judge your shit but expect honesty I ain't down with bullshittin