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family problems
Im goin through some family problems
And I really need to solve them
before my famly starts dissolvin
But before the problems are solved
I need to find the cause of it all
cuz i dont want everythingto fall
apart, dont want no broken hearts
so ihad decided to start
seeing someone to help this all stop
until i realized its not my fault
so i put more pride inside myself
and that is source of my self wealth
and now i feel more secure around everyone else
the problems are almost all gone
soon nuttin at all will be wrong
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daaaaaaaaamn y u stop? i was feelin that...i always like to read real life situations if im not mistaken i read another drop from you on some family issues i think if you make the shit a lil bit longer or whateva ita be nicer,in my opinion it didnt need all that vocab sometimes simplicity is good..in this case it worked,,nice
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man you gonna think I am an asshole but I didn't like it because I didn't like the rhyme scheme. It was very similar to Cam'ron. It rhymed to often and there was very little use of narrative imagery. I guess it all depends on what rappers influence and who you respect that'll dictate your style. You got flow but this is something you could rap of the top of your head when a seconds notice...no depth or anything but I was way worse than you a few years ago so be happy.
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liked the way you tried to insert the real emotion
in this, it kinda didn't feel that deep for some reason,
i could see that you tried to get it real, gritty etc...
maybe by added some better vocab it would help,
it'd make it a bit more complex. Rhyme scheme was
easy enough to follow, coulda been laid out better
th0, but was decent. FLow was aight, was smooth
enough, liked some of the words you rhymed...
try to add some deeper emotion in it th0, but it
was decent...3/5
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=165833
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seems like im gettin better as i go
