Feelings

My mind is going into overdrive,
My whole life has just taken a nosedive,
My wive just left me,
I miss her daily,
Why can't I be the one to conduct,
My life is gone, I musta really fucked up,
It feels like my heart is poundin' through my chest,
Like gettin' shot in the heart without a vest,
It's like a race that I can't win,
It's like I'm stuck in whirlwind,
Fightin' myself day and night,
Why do I put up this fight?
My time is up now,
What do I do now?
My life is comin' to an end,
No more time will I spend,
I fucked it up,
And that's what's up,
I know what's missing cuz my heart is peeling,
And guess bitch I do have feelings!!

Hit me with some feedback!! HOLLA!! ANd can anyone tell me how to add links to my posts cuz I don't want this to close!!

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=165570
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=165497

this was complicated hard to hold grasp of what u aimin twoards try editing this u have the skill juss use it better

how's this rap guys...




Now everybody from the 212, put your hands cuz I...
Now everybody from the 714, i am a noobie I ain't never done this before,
I'm rhymin' here, you're rhymin there,
take a step back cuz I know y'all scared,
My rhymes they be fantastic,
When i'm through y'all go ecstatic,
I know y'all out there doubt me,
But you don't know one damn thing 'bout me,
I am white, but 1/4 black,
don't hate me I ain't whack,
The game I spit is sick,
I think up rhymes lickety split,
I know think i'm fake,
but i'm afraid y'all be makin a mistake,
Nothin' left to say,
Hit me with some feedback please,
I got nothin' left peace!!

Hit me back with some funky fresh feedback!!! HOLLA!! ANd i am being serious!!

First rap is str8, short and weak rhyme scheme, but its a start. If its true then its got a lot of emotion in it, if it not tru then u got some good actin skills thru words. Try and use em better.

Second rap, u done really gotta turn off da 8 mile video son it aint helpin u nam sayin?

Keep droppin. :thumbup:

Hit da link up in my sig.

1

Life, It's an Earthquake, makes my body shake,
My mind quake in fear,
The echoes from the within my heart ,
draw ever near,
Things like this make our families corrupted,
Intervals of time, like life interrupted,
Sometimes Life at the beggining leads to a new end,
What you get is not what you intend,
It's a game of chance, it's a game of life,
Start a family, with a few kids and a wife,
Take that away and there's nothing left,
Sometimes the easiest isn't the best,
Play the game until your last breath,
Live your life until your death.

This is something to build from, you have potential... But drop your stuff in 3 different threads if you want each noticed...

Now, quit freeposting in my thread