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Cry For Help
Check it...
As far back as I remember... I was always dope...
Everybody out there, loved everything that I wrote,
and Nope, I aint signed... but yall know I'm hot...
People say "Yea, look hes wack", My skills show I'm not,
Sometimes though, I'm like... I think that I'm not Ill...
And then the world just stops, stomach sick, is how I feel,
Then my mind juss fills... Then see my imagination runs wild...
Hense I find muh will, Other Emcees creations? Just Mild,
So Now I find it near... The time I hold so dear...
Though How I wind my fear, just rhyme into my wholesome ears,
Now all I see is green... Has nothing to do with hate...
As I sit, wish and wait, The game just sets my fate,
I'm beatin' myself up... Got my knife in hand...
Why needin' this help sucks, as bullets strike this man,
Attempts at suicide... Leavin without a legacy...
My minds blank... writers block, It's the plague of We,
Emcees we all catch it... It's just our common cold...
Watch us break and fold, This can't be controlled,
So we sit back and watch... A dagger pierces through...
Flesh just splits in two, Brain gets ripped and chewed,
As I stab through my thoughs... Dopeness still gone...
The game is what I rip, My creative Images are drawn,
Bluntly beatin' down... Bruised by all this wealth...
My past has been rewound... This call...
.Is Just A Cry For Help.
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I like how the tone changed, because I thought you were just going to suck your own dick thoughout the whole piece. It was ok. Hated the beggining, but decent piece. Keep writing.
-W1
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This was a good peice...flow and structure were very good..multis were also there..emotion was good, could feel what you were sayin...nothin really bad to say abotu this.. good drop, i'll be lookin out for more open mics from you
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emotion was evident - not captivating but certainly there - diction was coo - some awkward lines but the meaning got thru - pretty decent piece - left a pretty clear print of your thought patterns - keep at it - peace
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yeah the begining kinda turned me off but it got better. this was good i only caught a couple things that could have been worded differently. this was good though not great but good. i really like your last 4 lines. they made up a lot for the begining. anyways it was good.
please drop some feed on my piece.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164942
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I like this alot, It's quite true. I like how u captured the writers block every emcee gets. Also your flow is madd ill, fo real outta 10, this is sitten on 8 an 9.
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[QUOTE=SyaNidal]
Check it...
As far back as I remember... I was always dope...
Everybody out there, loved everything that I wrote,
and Nope, I aint signed... but yall know I'm hot...
People say "Yea, look hes wack", My skills show I'm not,
Sometimes though, I'm like... I think that I'm not Ill...
And then the world just stops, stomach sick, is how I feel,
Then my mind juss fills... Then see my imagination runs wild...
Hense I find muh will, Other Emcees creations? Just Mild,
So Now I find it near... The time I hold so dear...
Though How I wind my fear, just rhyme into my wholesome ears,
Now all I see is green... Has nothing to do with hate...
As I sit, wish and wait, The game just sets my fate,
I'm beatin' myself up... Got my knife in hand...
Why needin' this help sucks, as bullets strike this man,
Attempts at suicide... Leavin without a legacy...
My minds blank... writers block, It's the plague of We,
Emcees we all catch it... It's just our common cold...
Watch us break and fold, This can't be controlled,
So we sit back and watch... A dagger pierces through...
Flesh just splits in two, Brain gets ripped and chewed,
As I stab through my thoughs... Dopeness still gone...
The game is what I rip, My creative Images are drawn,
Bluntly beatin' down... Bruised by all this wealth...
My past has been rewound... This call...
.Is Just A Cry For Help.[/QU
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I think the shits hot, keep it coming pimp.
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Dope shit ......Keep this shit comin............
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this was great I am jealous because your imagery was better than mine...seriously
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Yo this was good...the beginning was kind of off but it got better round da middle parts and stuff...good vocab and flow...overall 8/10 good drop man
