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dreamin
some lyrics i wrote for a collab i just did...its on some dreamin, not reality type shit..kind of a twist to it, see if you can catch it...pz
why waiste my time traveling this road thats just so beaten
searchin for a meaning only seen in fairy tales
now with 20/20 vision i can see it very well
and i just barely feel before i reached it
each dream tricks my mind just a lil bit more
an i could settle the score if only i could level this door
so i put the pedal to the floor aimin for the front porch
my hearts torched this arts for those with issues on they chest
who do theyre best just to make it with the rest
these days im gettin little rest obsessed with bein fed up
baby dont cry..ya gotta keep ya head up
had so many memories although the only one ive kept is love
red lust krept up from down below
in the secret garden past the meadow full of does
the only grove where no one else goes,im on my own
all alone you dont know how it feels
walkin through the feilds of val hala, i kneal
reflect upon my past,and what the future holds
then how the present situation seems so dull
so the story goes from my viewpoint where i can see the path
ill do whatever it takes to feel it in my grasp
but will my spirit last when im standing before fear
fearing itself is why it wore a mask,it all became clear
feeling odly strange here as the steam fades
im watchin the scene change in the mirror
relieved to still believe its my own face i move nearer
just to make sure then it all becomes a blurr
i get nervous,do my concerns serve a purpose
or will i wake up with the page turing back to the begining
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You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
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are yo supposed to be dead or sumtin...didnt really follow it...yo bit a tupac line...
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lmao im not taking credit for that line man..i know its a tupac line, like i said these are lyrics to an audio, and im not acting like i made that line up it goes with the vibe on the track i made...and thats fine you dont follow..i dont expect anyone in here too...
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clean. i felt the whole theme of identity crisis and not knowin where youre goin, it ws tight, and i dug how you were carryin the lines into each other. i liked the transition in "the only grove where no one else goes". anyway, keep writin, shit hits.
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thanks, your reply is appreciated...good feedback...
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this was dope u had some good descriptive deep lines, ya flow was hard to follow at times pretty basic just keep writing and you'll always improve, im not hating it was tight, peace.
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thanks but i dissagree with you sayin it was basic..did you not catch any of the multis or inner wordplay at all? its coo though...this is an audio anyways so it all comes down to how you put it down on the mic..you could have the simplest rhyme scheme and make it sound dope...but yeah thanks for the reply
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well this is the guy who tells me im garbage dont swet it i will be honest and critique.....
1st you had a great idea experimental and something that if you cant relate to you can atleast imagine well....
2nd i think you had godd chronological pressence.
3rd deep material always gets praised....
you did come off a lil simple and really do lack anykind of punch umph but this is topical so i guess that cant go against you.
4 th you do have many places where you fell basic that is true .structure much like mine does fall hard to fallow but im sure your like me and post how you spit on audio.
overall you do have talent need to brush it up with a lil more creative edge but we are all here to elivate so all and all this wasnt bad just doesnt seam like your full potential.
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now thats a reply thank you...good shit man
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