Mysterious Ways

her hair was tangled and torn, that once hung down to her waist
the grit and dirt of the pavement covered her beautiful face
her eyes halfway shut, showing brown gems to the world
the blood covered her body, drowning her delicate curls,

she was only 16, didnt know her actions affected
this dude so much, he'd kill her for the fact she rejected him
and though, this type of thing happens everyday,
she was special man, she had so much potential to grow
but no, God works in so many mysterious ways,
its just happy to know, thats shes got somewhere to go

but now its serious crying dont help, our minds on this guy
we're gonna kill you the same way, you killing us on the inside
Im, ready to bust, my boys packing the bus,
just to get to you son, theres no more fucken running from us
you see the cops mighta missed you, but no need making a fuss
we'll give them tips so, all the pigs are findin are guts,
we'll crush you into dust, her brother is ready to cut
youre nuts off, and feed em to her little doggy for lunch
so run, you can hide, you can scream your lungs out all day
Just dont think you'll escape, cos, theres no fucken way!
no jail, no prison no trial, just you, them and I
We know who you are, now theres no more saving you guy
Cos since you killed my sister my days' been serious days
You can pray, but remember that God works in mysterious ways

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=155267
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156103

you remind me of cages ballod of worms ....lol mad talent here true skill im feeling it stay elivbating and hit me up sometime

hmm... a very karmic piece you've written here. the liked the imagery of the first two verses and the i really enjoyed the topic you picked as well. i think the first verse was the strongest and it certainly had some strong vocab to assist our visualisation of the charecter. my only criticism is that you should add to the complexity of your rhymes.

overall a good piece, look forward to reading more from you. keep posting.

Word, watd you mean by cages ballod of worms? Anyway, thnx to you and 6
Upping

ahh, upp

ill topic

this isnt a true story tho is it?
something missing from making me beleive it is real. donno why... just dont get strong enough emotions, both anger and sadness...
but it was an ill drop man... keep elevatin and spittin hem ill topics

this was a pretty good O.M., your first 2 verses we're your best, and ur first one was even better, the imagery was very good right from the beggining, but the ending kind of ruined it, but overall its pretty good. 7.8/10

nah it aint true, i was jus experimenting with how to use diff levels of tellin a story considerin the intensity of the feelings in it. like i was tryin to be jus an onlooker in the first, and then the flows and lines get off rhythm on the second, and then the last verse is jus goin haywire as the feelings intensifies to the point the characters anger blows up. thaz proly why theres somethin missin cos this wasnt a piece i intended to post as an om, or something i finished completely. theres alot more to be said, but i jus posted it cos i liked it so much.. eh.. thnx for the replies tho, any more?

uppity up