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Droning on and on, the low vibrations soothe
the reckless demons waiting on the night.
The fire in their eyes is much too bright,
while burning with their glee, to look into
for long. Unlikely in their subtle youth,
they dance among the angels in their flight
and song. They sing along. Their Bass would fight
the angels' sound, and from this something new
is born. The angels start to dance as well
while soaring through the starlit sky. The beat
infects their soul and they are torn.
i like the overall flow of this poem, and it seems to have nice emotion to it. it also has a nice structure. In all honesty though, this poem has me slightly confused, i think that had you made it a little longer, and elaborated on the topic more.... it would have made sense in my head...... but it was a fairly decent read all the same...... good job!
.............fav part...........
the angels' sound, and from this something new
is born. The angels start to dance as well
while soaring through the starlit sky. The beat
infects their soul and they are torn.
keep droppin
....bless
wow, i had to read this over and over. each time I read your peice I came up with a more and more elaborate meaning to your work. I think that you were talking about the club scene but i could be wrong. but the ending definitly left me wanting more I guess you can take it as a compliment if it was intended and if not... anyways I like your poetic voice I'll keep an eye out for ya
Thanx.
Up.
Good to see you back marek. I liked this piece for its seemingly simple approach, but deeper meanings. the imagery was good. the emotion wasnt very strong, but the poems mood was more ment towards provoking thoughts. like shawty said, i think you could have elaorated more and made it longer. because the end seemed too abrupt. overall it was a slightly above average piece (8.2) but a good read for a short poem. keep at it and stay active.
Two active threads rule.. Closed