Selfishness.

I was born a twin, identical in form and limb
But different within, because he’s selfish with sin
Anyways…. this is how the story begins……

…….growing as kids we did most things together
Never separated, thought we’d be glued forever
You couldn’t sever the tether of our equal minds
We were like birds of a feather… or 2 of a kind
Designed from 1 blue print… genetically combined
Hypothetically we rhymed in every aspect of life
Until one day he stabbed me in the back with a knife……

……once led to twice, I would dread his arrival
Instead of being nice, now his head read survival
A comprisal of lying, cheating, meeting drug dealers…
greeting thug stealers… a misdemeanor to my mom
It was wrong cos she only ever played his love song
She tried to stay strong, but was afraid he would stray
……………But my bro, he thought he was OK!

……then one day it happened, just like a fashion
He was out laughing, jacking up some gear, crashing…
…Then OD started thrashing its whip… he’s collapsing
People passing turned away in disgust, kicking dust
While his eyes were flicking… his muscles thrust
His face was flushed red, pushed beyond its capacity
He was dead… his selfish touch brought us a real travesty!



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144229
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144352

Good man, well thought out. But not enough emotion in an emotional piece man.

^^hmm ok.... but you are looking at the wrong aspect of it... but thnx....

up up and uppppppp

damn.... alot of sleeping going on in OM these days

hmm, so im the only one whos gonna post in here ay... oh well

Hmm pretty nice piece here man...Enjoyed the read...The flow of the piece was pretty nice it was really smooth through out it, it never really fell off at all, it was a nice flow...Had some emotion in there in some of the verses which made it nice something some people can relate too in one way or another im sure...The word choice was pretty good I thought it usually is with you as is your vocab, always good...Never expecting less than what you display...but overall a nice piece here man, I liked it.

Nice shit here man. Liked the imagery in it, at the 1st verse, it was real good:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Char Lee's Friend

…….growing as kids we did most things together
Never separated, thought we’d be glued forever
You couldn’t sever the tether of our equal minds
We were like birds of a feather… or 2 of a kind
Designed from 1 blue print… genetically combined
Hypothetically we rhymed in every aspect of life

---

Nice shit, lol. Anyway, vocab. was good as well, flow was dope, real dope, I really liked the flow in this piece. But there was one problem, I think you should've added an extra verse, just to give us more info. about what happened. I dunno though, I just felt it was kinda short, an extra verse would've made it seem better, but anyway, overall, good shit man.

Hit up:

A Broken Image

Peace

^^done.... thnx guys

very nice Drop DEV i havent read a peice this good in a long time,
i felt where u were comeing from and it was well worded.
i think you did a dopearifect job on this peice.
and keep the dopness comeing.
and im haveing thoughts that these my be
a legend peice.

Good job bro
keep at it
Pz

Damn dev dont you think if you brother died from Od'ing dont you think that would be eye opening and you would quit? But this was nice you had some nice vocab and the rhyme scheme was nicely done.

LMAO... iu'll never quit shit... im a drug taking, beer drinking party fucka.... and will be forever and ever til the day i meet the maker... lol

That answers my question but thats to bad you think that you could learn from your brothers mistakes.

maybe man, but my brother aint actually dead... all the rest is true, i just imrpovised the ending as thats whats gonn happen....