Enter the Light

Just a new day, new ways of life to start after last night
Not sure what to think, try to find lime light in my sights
Hope its untrue, deadly diseases these should be forbidden
My wife in the hospital, they thinkin she is Cancer ridden..
Shit's not a joke, hate the people who laugh, and not reminise
Let me tell you a bit about her, before this takes a bad twist..

Margarite.... understating if I say she's the love of my life
She's much more, not only my wife, every bit of my shining light
Needless to say, nothing I can do without her, she's me - I'm her
Years of love unconditional, and inseperation is what I swore
Till the end, through the wire & fire, I don't care.. it's true
as she held my hand, "I can't live or die without you..."

2 days later

I wake up in the hospital, last few days had not much sign..
of what could occur, good or bad leaving my stress of the hectic kind
Wanted to cry many of times, had to hold on, & stay strong
Lead to believe, hope. Till the 3rd night the doc's lead me wrong
A story with a happy ending? not all are... they had to break the news
Told me a high chance my wife will die, and nothing I can do
I held her hand, simply said "I can't live or die without you"
My heart attacked, I told the doc's "relax" and let me die too
We lied there together on the bed, inseperation is the key
Onto our next life, as we Enter the Light, where we want to be



From a topical battle, some of you might've read.

Linked:

Escar- The Writer's Mind
Woogsta- Lost my family

some others...

I thought this was one of your best pieces.....The flow and internals were nice, multies, and a nicely laid out story full of emotion, which was probably the most potent aspect of this verse...good job...I've seen this type of concept before, but you pulled it off well....strong closer as well..........Good verse....keep em comin....take it easy...Peace...

This was dope bro. I liked the imagery in it, mostly there were a few parts were I thought it was really good. The emotion was quite deep man, which made it even doper, I was definitely feelin' it. Short 'n' sweet, along with a good use of vocab. Story kept me interested as well, the flow was great dawg. Really good piece Cam.

Peace bro.

Nice...everything was layed out nice & I thought some good use
opf vocab in here set iit opff a treat..lol...
8/10 for the effort here

thanks fellas.. - uppin

I'll try and hit up some of your stuff, at a later note.

Pretty decent.Liked the story but you could of gone more in depth with it. Vocabularly overly lacked a bit, very basic. Flow was decent, and the emotion was brought in well. I would say work on your vocab. Wording can be a big upgrade in writing

i liked this piece it was pretty good had a good flow, vocab lacked a lil.
but i like the story it was very good and your structure was very good.
this over all was a decent drop 8/10

thanks guys, I know the vocab is, eh..
wasn't entirely going for that.

I liked the peice, sometimes the best way to explain something is straight to the point. I usually write my topicals with small vocab. Flow wasnt bad and neither was structure. The imagrey was there. Nice peice overall. -out

thanks, uppin..

uppin

uppin

why not..

Imagry and emotion best aspects..definately
Everything else dope too..