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Back Stabbers
problem solvers revolvers rob em,
new technic reek of skillz move on wheels till caption stills, bars reluctant bad vibes stop seduction, kill fo a livin leave hearts throbbin,takin lives now im back to robbin, kick back and work connects wit da mob and, move dis weigh,t money comin i cant wait, its too late now time to pop em, nigga u cant stop em, mind frames to conceited, get in da way and get deleted, need no help, only buddy i got is attached to my belt, da pain i felt, caused by niggaz i trusted, feelins move on and smiles get rusted, neva gave up da mac so da gunz stay dusted, no need fo love all i need is a clip, no need friends cuz soon as u turn ya back they run they lip, thought u was close but apparently enemies was close,r friends nah fuck dat surrounded by posers, now im stuck wit words i cant express, and question myself should i put a whole in da neck, of nigga dats pose to be my boi, jus like ol days except dis time we aint fightin ova toys, its ova more denn money, no jokin round shyt aint funny, pass a lick, fuck dat get buck and imma pass a clip, came on da same boat togetha but iceburgs crashed da ship, now its go da different ways and start da beef, and giva nigga reason to put gold on top of demm teeth, now dis wut it all falls down to say shit get stuck, look at me da wrong ya fucked, but enough of dis talkin lets end dis shyt, no more conversation unless we talkin wit fist
ion give fuck wit ya think bout dis some shyt in my head so i put it on papa
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give feedback but if u aint feelin it all i can say is...............Fuck u TOO
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"came on da same boat togetha but iceburgs crashed da ship,"
nice line - I won't say not to talk about the streets - cause if that's life (alot of cats talk about it but that's not there life) then that's cool - but there was a lot of repetition - try showing different aspects of your life - not just the violence to supposed friends part - keep improving - peace
hit my: Tragedy at the Door
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You need to get 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
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this was ight flow was there could of been worded a little better in diff places but overal it works
friends cuz soon as u turn ya back they run they lip, thought u was close but apparently enemies was close,r friends nah fuck dat surrounded by posers, now im stuck wit words i cant express, and question myself should i put a whole in da neck, of nigga dats pose to be my boi,
keep spittin
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aight fam thanx fo da pointers
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Yeah man tight flow. it could have been structured better but it was nice.
"its too late now time to pop em, nigga u cant stop em, mind frames to conceited, get in da way and get deleted, need no help, only buddy i got is attached to my belt,.."
^^ Nice Shit dawg.
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thanx fam.
wassup wit some more feedback ova 50 views and only like 6-7 replies
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feedback if u view drop feedback
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yo whats good yung...yea yo i was feelin that shit fa real...structure couldve been better though..but i still kept up with it. Good use of words and shit man that was aight. Keep doin ya thing though dawg you improving and tryin to use more complexity and vocabulary.
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As the first guy said, this was really repetitive. You didn't really get a point across either, you just rambled on a lot about something. Nothing really stood out either, and I felt that you could of done a lot better. Also, a lot of weak lines too..."mind frames to conceited, get in da way and get deleted". You gotta work harder than that. Keep trying though.
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As was said before you never really got to a point.
You were just rhymin about some shit on ya chest and thats cool to do.
But if you want to get better your going to have to flow your subject smoother.
Work on ya structure too. That shit was kinda hard to read. Most important..Get creative. Hate to just give negative shit out so..... your flow was decent.
It was still pretty basic though. Read other peoples shit. Its good for getting better and getting ideas. Good luck Peace
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this had a good topic and flowed very well.......but i think structure wise it could have been better. id say just get a lil more creative
but overall this was a decent drop
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