Irony at its Best

Irony At Its Best

Monday 22nd January, 1999, We meet..

So I'd be drinking in my local bar, it wasn't that far
from where I parked the car, me & B' be bumping on par
with the local talent. See I haven't been in here in a while,
because the cue gets long then I hear that song & smile.
There she is.. ready to hit the tiles, a first time glance at love
sent from above, our eyes fix.. our styles go & fit like a glove.
Look at my boy and shove..

"I'd kill to get a piece of that ass"

....as time passed, then I grasped that ass & my face was slapped
have I finally met my match? ha ha. But then she stares in my eyes
to my surprise I finally came to realise that she was already mine.

@

Thursday 5th of September, 1999, After the Trial..

My worst fears couldn't haven contemplated this, I missed
the fact that killing a man would eventually come to shit-
on me, & destroy my family. How can pulling a trigger come so easily?

"PLEASE FREE ME.."

..shouting at the rafters could never get near to apease me.
It was a sleazy..mistake, I shoulda knew she was a fake,
when the bitch first appeared as a guest on Ricky Lake.
Now I've made my cake.. & ate it, dislayed it, put it on show
infront of a jury of the court telling them I was duped by a hoe.
But to take her side & go? My soul sank at the verdict.. gasp-
-ing at the very thought, that I said..

.."I'd kill to get a piece of that ass"

@

Saturday 4th April, 1999, The Day I killed for THAT Ass..

Wake up beside my beauty like everyday, she lay on her side
& looked at me in a way that coincided with being angry, looking shy
she gave up & cried.. bewildered, straight away asking for me
to know. Before I could go, she turned & sobbed..

.."Tell me you'd kill for me!!!!"

I looked in amazement, she crazy? The bitch dazed me, but I knew
what I was doing when I replied..

.."Of course I'd kill for you"

I caught the story she threw.. at me. 'bout some chump, an ex' I think
who was stealing everything she had including the kitchen sink.
So with the blink of an eye, found the adress of this guy-
then hooked-up some wheels & drived hoping that I'd buy..
..time. To get away with this crime, but then I saw this fuck
when he tried to duck I went with him & the bullets flew from my truck
left only with lead to suck, he went down.. thats when the police passed.
A rural repitition in my skull which minced my words, hence..

.."I'd kill to get a piece of that ass"
@




In conclusion..

A perfect solution from that dime, I admit she was clever
to get me to feather an innocent guy & put him in heaven.
As the clock strikes eleven..pm, I deal with the monstrosity
with 50,000 volts in my chair,me & Mary DID created electricity.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...76#post1538776
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...04#post1538804

uppin.. c'mon people

thought this was quite creative, thought the way you layed it out sorta took aat from the flow, using seperate stanza's... it panned out nicely tho, the actual story and the title related nicely to the peice... after reading the first verse, i wsnt too keen, thought it was all gonna be seperate bars, the rhyming, but after that verse, you came with alot better transitions.... decent read...

could you hit my collad with wise ways... thnx

....oh and hows about that topical battle after i do this one with miss... later ontoday sometime, cos i aint got any battles going... other than that one

Thanks. I'll hit the collab' soon & its cool with the battle too.
Hit me up when you're ready. -1

Creative concept, I like it

Good story, I like the structure and the way it was layed out... original and easy to read

Lyrically it was quite good, some nice multies and internals here and there, vocab was good for this type of piece... You painted some nice pictures, and the play on words towards the end was cool

The consistency (I kill to get a piece of that ass) was good... helped set the mood

Good work... keep it up :)

Thanks.. uppin this some more

its very clever. i like it alot. keep it up.

Please do not leave feedback like that ever again.

This was dope. The flow was ill, and the concept was very original. Your storytelling was ill, and the way you put the three verses together. This was a smoth and easy read. Definately worth the time. Keep droppin' that dope shit, homie. Pay a visit to Euthanasia, if you want. You'd get it.

My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137268

-W1

Back up there

Akwai this was clever as hell. I was feeling you rhyme sheme. Flow was real nice. But what got me hooked to this piece was it's details. You had nice imaginary followed with great description which made this a super dope piece that I was feeling all the way through. 8.5 - 10

Thanks.. bk up.. leave links

Bk to the top... for the last time

Yo this had a good message to it. It seemed more like a poem,but can be used as a rap
The Flow was on point (at some points it seemed a little bit rushed,however)
The vocab was good too. Not too much and also not too little...

Overall nice story,lookin for some more of your pieces ...