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Operation:Black Gold
News anchor: Today, a top CIA agent leaked a startling revelation of a CIA operation, codename: “Black Gold”. Sources from inside the agency say it was an attempt to assassinate North Korea’s communist leader Kim Il Sung.
Night creeps quietly as the sky slowly turns to pitch black…
We pack valuable equipment, now there’s no turning back…
Our optic tract attempts adjust to the darkness, fear – in excess…
We’re attempting an unknown mission, hoping for success…
We guess our position & it feels like an unplanned expedition…
We learn that a single bullet, will murder a single politician…
Our jeep burns the ignition & our hearts begin to go up in flames…
Each elite agent dressed in opaque black with impeccable aims…
We have no names, & each one blames the president for this operation…
The vibration from the rocky road momentarily rocks our concentration…
Anticipation, no relaxation, we’re on edge & in a state of sedation…
Awake but focused entirely on this life or death operation…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
A single bullet fired from an elite team of 4….
Concentration focused everything else we ignore…
Will it start a war; will the details be de-classified…?
Will it be success, or will it be a case of “we tried”…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
Light diminished & darkness smothered our hidden bodies & faces…
Night vision active & cautiously leaving no sign, no traces…
The cloud embraces the moon & leaves no reflection or no light…
Tightly grouped together, a black cloud, trying to keep outta sight…
Along the runway & into a derelict plane we stumble & jump…
The propeller twirls & whizzes – we take off with a rutted thump…
A lump in our throats forms as we’re told the journey won’t be long…
“Prepare yourself immediately as we’re swiftly heading for Sonbong”…
We whizzed along seemingly endless forests & little shanty towns…
Each part of the mission was explained, each deadlier than it sounds…
Mist surrounds the plane & our view of the ground is restricted…
Military advisors predicted a failure & in our minds, failure is inflicted…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
A single bullet fired from an elite team of 4….
Concentration focused everything else we ignore…
Will it start a war; will the details be de-classified…?
Will it be success, or will it be a case of “we tried”…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
We jump through solid clouds of gas & land on weighty grass…
The last agent lands heavily & we quickly begin to amass…
Together we run past eerily trees & little homes of corrugated steel…
We feel normal in a mission that is surprisingly surreal…
Our torches reveal dirt roads & rows of empty & suspicious fields…
The darkness that surrounds us looks as cold as it feels…
But it conceals four figures sneaking quietly along dirt roads…
Anticipation explodes & our single optimistic view erodes…
Slowly degrading into pessimism & distrust of our government…
How can we represent the US, when our life doesn’t mean shit…?
Cos 70% of operations are failures with little chance of success…
In a foreign land, on deaf ears landed our antagonistic protests…
We slowly progress & guess where our final position will be…
We quickly agree & think of the general sittin with a face full of glee…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
A single bullet fired from an elite team of 4….
Concentration focused everything else we ignore…
Will it start a war; will the details be de-classified…?
Will it be success, or will it be a case of “we tried”…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
From a distance we see a figure surrounded by security…
Our target, surety as our vision quickly turns to obscurity …
A mind of purity turns to one of death and iniquity influence…
The suspense rises as we crouch behind a thin wire fence…
Itching to shoot, the intense atmosphere is as hot as hell…
Sweating perspiration of fear & let the target say his farewell…
We dwell on the fact that blood will be found on our hands…
Cos communist’s demands caused these homicidal plans…
We wait, for our General to give the commands, patiently…
He stands solely, & we aim to liberate, to set his country free…
We see bodyguards disperse & the situation turns for the worse...
“Abort Black Gold”, our minds are suddenly put in reverse…
“Go, Go, Go” we curse aloud but go back into our black cloud…
Fuck being proud, get the hell out & thru the fields we ploughed…
Each vowed to get home & carry whoever may fall along the way…
In disarray we run, & in the distance our chopper sits, only yards away…
We pray for our safety & gunshots fire in startling excess…
We progress, cursing a mission that had no chance of success…
A mess, but efficiently we jump one by one onto a unmarked chopper…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
Koreans shout underneath but we are heading home at last…
We begin to relax, a failed mission, another chance passed…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
A single bullet fired from an elite team of 4….
Concentration focused everything else we ignore…
Will it start a war; will the details be de-classified…?
Will it be success, or will it be a case of “we tried”…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
As minutes unfold, a leader takes his last breath…
Black Gold; behold an operation of death…
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This was cool. Flow was good. The concept was original, and the imagery was pretty nice. To tell the truth, I think the chorus ruined this piece. I would get into the story and the long chorus would pop up, then the cycle would continue, so I couldn't get fully emersed into the piece like I wanted. I think it would be alot better withought the chorus. It was still a pretty good piece though. Keep doin' you, homie.
Peep the "...On A Naken Tree" link in my sig when you get the time.
-W1
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Yeh man,that chorus kinda-didnt help
Other then the chorus-problem,you had good flow and image
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I hate reading vets pieces lol. U did nothing wrong. Ur beginning grasped my attention immediately and i enjoyed every minute that i read. This is one of the best piece ive read on here by far. Your structure and flow showed your complexity and ur ability to drop quality shyt as a vet. ur imagery was off the walls and it was like i was reading a book. i saw every image in my head. Overall:greatness. Keep it up.
Can u check out my OM. The links in my sig.
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^ will do...cheers for the lenthy feedback....
uppin'..
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"Our torches reveal dirt roads & rows of empty & suspicious fields…
The darkness that surrounds us looks as cold as it feels…"
^ Nice poetic line. Nice imagry..
This was a nice concept piece.
Nice thoughtout Lines. In the
beginning Your flow scheme was
definitly on but somewhat had too
many ION-endings. I though you was
going to use it threw out but you didn't
so those ION-endings were good to use.
Vocabulary was very nice. Nice structure
and a nice story well told. Reminded me of
Vietnam for some reason. and The movie the
'Three Kings'.
Stay writing
Peace
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I thought you got really creative with this piece. Like others said above the chorus was a little too much for this. You grabbed my attention from the beginning though, the same as you did "Roses". I like your style man. You had some dope imagery in this. Also nice vocab, and the flow was smooth. Structure was good in this one. Keep droppin unique pieces like this. peace.
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Good Flow. Good imagery. Very creative with alot of decent wordplay/vocabulary. Good structure. Not much to say because you always supply a good peice. Keep dropping.
-Wise
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very creative piece....good topic to write on...you explained this thoroughly i dont think you needed the hook that didnt help much it was str8 but it didnt follow the consistency that the rest of the verse had...the wordplay and vocab were both perfect you were very complex and used words to your advantage which is a key thing in writing good open mics and you grasped that ability and made it work for your verse....strong topic... some vivid points of imagery and structure was dam near perfect which is hardly seen anymore...very good piece keep em coming ~!1!~
