Roses

Roses decorate a memorial so white, glossy & clean...
It states – “Jeffery John Orchard 1926 - 1944, aged 18...
It sits in-between, 2 others & in front of seemingly thousands...
It stands as a proud reminder of innocence dying in foreign lands...
Hitler’s selfish demands caused this young man to face death...
He must have cursed his country, with his last exhausted breath...
Soul theft, & this piece of stone represents a young mans life...
He reluctantly left his family, friends & his country to fight...
Is he a crusader, a knight or a victim of political interference...?
Did he die a coward or a result of his gritty perseverance...?
Did he go in search of romance, as did so many of his comrades...?
The sun is now setting, light dims & this young mans memory fades...
Shades of red illuminate the site, representing the blood they shed...
Is he really dead, or just sleeping eternally in a heavenly bed...?

Roses left as a superficial appreciation...
Remember kids, who died for their nation...
No decoration & the dead lie forever alone...
Each ones faded memory is hollowly etched in stone...

Guns fired, Bullets ricocheted whizzing noisily overhead...
He kept his head down, 1 wrong move bang! He’s dead...
His comrades bled continuously from infectious lacerations...
They fought proudly to liberate to them, unimportant nations...
Each had unique occupations but that is irrelevant on the beach...
They shouted deafeningly but the mortars muffled their speech...
Lieutenants trying to teach sergeants to lead their walking dead men...
It wasn’t a question of if you die; it was just a question of when...
Each one prayed, amen, attempting to find some peace & solace...
Privates looking weakly around, trying to remember the lieutenants face...
Trying to replace their fallen friends with naïve replacements...
Trying unsuccessfully to take out temporary gun emplacements...
Trying to break the defence, but disastrously losing many lives...
They try endlessly to survive until more aerial support arrives...
But think of their girlfriends & wives who receive a death note...
German infantry looks out to sea – Hundreds of bodies, begin to float...

Roses left as a superficial appreciation...
Remember kids, who died for their nation...
No decoration & the dead lie forever alone...
Each ones faded memory is hollowly etched in stone...
& with each shot another innocent body drops...
Each minute exists inside its own paradox....
Too many deaths & too many last breaths...
Too many generals making unrealistic requests...
Roses left as a superficial appreciation...
Remember kids, who died for their nation...
No decoration & the dead lie forever alone...
Each ones faded memory is hollowly etched in stone...

60 years later & the attraction to war is strongly gettin’ greater...
We’re still goin’ into combat trying to overthrow an influential dictator...
Layers & layers of lies try to explain the misunderstood reasons...
A countries lesions bleed & expose its real purpose & meanings...
The government tries to conceal the real reason for goin’ into war...
A gloating general sends men to death – at his disposal, a full corps...
A private on the floor, with his intestines splattered on his bloody face...
George Bush has successfully managed to erase another life – it’s a disgrace...
Yet people embrace his way of politics, another vision the bible predicts...
Another true revelation about eastern & western brutal conflicts...
But at this rate the apocalypse can’t really be far....
& the western world will forever carry the scar...

Roses left as a superficial appreciation...
Remember kids, who died for their nation...
No decoration & the dead lie forever alone...
Each ones faded memory is hollowly etched in stone...

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132045
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116143

This was unbelievably fucking dope and no one has replied in 7 views is queer. The flow was dope, the transitions were dope, and everything was cohensive. The message was the most original idea I have seen in a while, and the second verse takes the cake. Vocab was very well spread out and gave the story more imagery. Brilliant, should be June's OM of the month.

Niiiice! Wow..I'm speechless. That was amazing. Never seen lyrics about war like that. I would rate that a nine out of ten.

you had great imagery.
Decent flow,everything was awesome.
It was just that it carried alone slowly.
Each line dragged one, meanin all you MOSTLY did was just rhyme the end of the sentence. Nothing more.
Some type of internal rhyming will have made this peice legends.
Although, I haveseen something related to something like this, it was fairly original.
but, Good job, I liked it.
I'll give it 8/10
peace

i agree with devion cept for the internal thing i just learned about those but i think i see them atleast good imagery nice ass vocab caught me off guard by doing this about world war 2 instead the currents wars we have also agrees this might be the best Open Mic for June

well i have to say you are getting alot better than some of your older stuff, this read really smooth and you really captured the emotion i likes how you introduced the topic at the beginning and carried it thru... it was quite long, but didnt really seem to use any filling, ya know.. it seemed all relevant.... props ma man

uppin'.

uppin if you'd be so kind.

that was dope...very good flow, and a lot of amazingly powerful lines. very good imagery, i like the way you compared ww2 and the war in iraq, and then compared it to the bible...that was clever. nice vocabulary (sp?) and good use of internal rhymes.

This was really good...

Nice imagery and it flowed smoothly. Very creative with the right level of vocab bein used. It was long but well worth the time took readin it.

Good job but I suggest usin a few multies and internals in a few places....but this was still really good.

damn perception 6 replies 60 odd reads.. fucks sake.. this ws tight... shows how OM is fucked up compared to like a few months ago.. oh well.... like i said i liked it... uppin this for a mate

do ppl not reply to OM's anymore, i mean, do they just read and thats it....7 replies, 73 veiws....da fcuk.

Ill shit. Nice way to work up to the last verse, although I completely disagree on the last verse. I still respect the oppinion, and how you painted the picture. Tou have nice glimpses of imagery throughout the piece, and the chorus was a nice touch. The only thing that I felt was a little off was flow in a couple spots, but nothing major. This was a nice read. Keep up the good work, homie.

My Open Mic:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...89#post1471589

-W1

wow...this was long...but well worth the read...I enjoyed every bit of it actually...you have elavated a lot p....keep up the good work

...not as enthused as everyone else...

it was good... but some of the lines seemed stretched... or the rhyme wasn't quite perfect... or what ev.... the flow was subsequently iffy... maybe would be better in audio... if you had the proper spits

solid story.... good enough structure...

my vote is 7.5/10