better dayz

so many years of sad prayers
n risin number of fake players
dis place, where rich takes over everything
blast it away cuz it doesnt mean nething
thinkin, money is everythin but no
u won b takin dat to heaven u kno

wait a minute, i ain finished u retard
listen up cuz these words might pierce ur heart

i'd h8 2 c dis world last for anudah century
hope it ends by 2010 january
2 many thugs hangin wit wrong broez
wat u need is a tight fresh hoe
ha, jus laughin in pain
jus smilin at acid rain

wat happened to the world we used 2 luv
so fuked up, no where safe but up above
sumfing betta change to change the way i think
pink ocean, green sky n mor winks
hopefully more prayers will b heard
n dis world wil b full of singin birds

il live on thinkin of betta dayz
n wait till i c those better wayz

Leave two links or this will be closed.

Also you should try using the kings English and not eye torturing garbage.
Ex. “i'd h8 2 c dis”
People that do that barely have enough mental capacity to tie their own shoe laces
Those that do should tie a slip knot an hang themselves with them.
But have a nice day

just not feeling it..
as tele said.. use proper english... and maybe get some sort of flow going and originalety..
i rate it about a 4/10, for a ghastly use of english and the fact that im not feeling it...

this is the second peice in a row ive read that i thought was 'garbage'... slang aint no good in writtens, it makes you look dumb... aside from that the actual content lacked, some of what you said i could relate to, but your execution, well, work on it....

The concept is good, but it was extremly annoying that i had to read it 2 times to really get what you were sayin', you better just write it in English :) if you rewrite it, show it to me and i might give ya some real feedback

Closed, 1 Open Mic Every 24 Hours.