...~Hard Life~...

Check it out...

Livin' in dis hard tyms~jus tryin' 2 survive
Lyf ain't worth dying~when u got 4 otha lives
U got 3 children and 1 wife~dat need u @home
But when dis country calls~you can't reject da phone
U jus wanted2c ur baby~take his first step
But u can't~cuz ur country is in a gr8 depth
So ur on da plane~thinkin~jus tryin' to reflect
Prayin' to GOD~2 keep u alive~Let him direct
Drive u in da Ryt Direction~keep u on track
I help the enemies out~He'll protect me from their attacks
So its been months&months~How long have I been hea
Aint afraid of nothin'~But Im afraid death is nea
Another Day has gun by~my beard is gettin longah
Been here so long~that my faith in GOD has gotten strongah
Prayin' to God~Every minute~Every Single Hour
All the things that I asked for~I can use it to build a tower
So Im still in dis war~Today is May 27th
Can you tell my wife I love her~Also dat im waitin' fo' her in heaven


hea is the links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...82#post1432082

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...85#post1432085

Nice piece you got there man.

Almost everything was good there. I liked the flow alot, structure wasn't bad, but could've been better. And what's with those signs, it just ruins everything dawg. But it's aight, I really liked the topic too. Liked how you expressed everything in it. It was really good.

Peace

thanx...lots man....can i get more feedback.......................................... ...............
thanx lots though man

A not bad piece...enjoyed it even.
I thought the flow was good in ur piece.
Vocab was Ok in this piece & ur
Wordplay was evident, but this was an
all round good piece....

hit the links in my sig?..ta

Not bad shit,flow was spot on throughout good, but i like to vary it up but remain on beat,feel me,anyway good vocab,some multies in there,good expression,stayed on topic,nice length.

Peace

thanx for the feedback...can i get some more...THANX ya all

Yo hit this up and drop some feedback

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130620

Peace

aight...can i get some feedback on this.............................................. .........thanx

can i get this to the top............................................... ...........................

let me gets some feedback...

need some mo' feedback.......................................... .........................................

damn man, thaz sum nice shit...

real, and i feel you on that, cuz i know alot of ppl who have gone to fight in tha war, and i been there for their families and everything, so it's like, when i read it, it wuz as if one of my boy's sent it to me...

flow and vocab wuz nice, pretty good wordplay & structure.

overall - 8.5/10, because of tha realness and message of tha piece, and then for tha actual flow and everything.

everyone knows i like tha real shit that actually means something, not just blah, ima gangsta, blah i shoot guns... ya know? i like tha real shit that's from your heart & soul. and this wuz.

keep flowin homie

pz

thx.........for the feedback..........................I really enjoy writing from the heart......
more feedback...thx

PEACE...ill keep writin'

i enjoy readin' your stuff. real deep work. but what i like most is how you talk about God a lot. that right there earns a lot of my respect. my faith in God is not as strong as what i want it to be, but its stronger than most peeps i know. im glad to see that you're just like that too. gives us somethin in common. this stuff had heart. that alone makes it a good piece.

pz

thanks man for the feedback.......................................... ............................

need mo'

Wow, can learn a lot from you, really like your work! Vocab was great, and the imagery was very good... Write more, can't wait till your next piece, i'm ya biggest fan ;) hehe... but i'll try to stay neutral ;)