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The Gulluotine
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130376
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128636
I work my 9 to 5..nearly killin myself just to get by
I put food on the table…yeah I do provide
that’s about all though…sure aint wealthy
that shit ive done im lucky to be healthy
but im turnin around want no one to help me
if I want it bad enough ill do it alone
and if I succeed it must be on my own
ill keep tryin till I collapse my bones
ill go back to school and ill get a degree
ill do whatever job if the job needs me
moppin floors bussin tables whatever it be
put in extra doulbe overtime to make ends meet
whoever doubted I’d become something…well thell jus see
ive come to far to give up shoot im almost there
CANT give up to my family it wouldn’t be fair
share the good with them cuz they been by me through the worst
whenever I needed help they were always there first
ill be in the first in my line to get a degree this family must be cursed
ive never been one to quit and im not breakin the habbit now
soon ill be sining to the tune of 80 thousand a year loud
soon ill go to then bank and I can actually be proud
but the time to move is practically here
so no more dreamin, time to start doin
the people like me are few an far between, we work behind the scenes
ill do it by any means, I don’t need your respect that’s not what im persuin
you can talk about me as I work I don’t care one bit what you an’
your friends say, while yall talk I work and get paid
you stay at entry level while I get raised
you drift and drift im here to stay
you may not respect but when im done, you’ll know…my…name
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You Need To Reply To 2 Open Mics With Decent Feedback And Leave Both Links in This Thread Or This Gets Closed, Thanks.
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Good verse man! I enjoyed it. QUite melodramatic... you have a knack for explaining the ills of your life. or so you make it seem. Your use of rhyme was ...superfluous.. to be honest... the timing of rhyming word changeup seemed kinda sketchy... all in all was a good read tho... keep it up! :D
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peeped your piece....had some good ideals throughout....congrats on the making it seem somewhat authentic...as if it was real life autobiography......maybe work on rhyme structure to make it flow nicer but i was feeling this might be an audio or something...
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this was good brandon.. real good.. i coulda told you all this online but that wouldnt be any fun now would it?... lol i liked this but i definally still gotta work with you
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