just that... tight I gauran-friggin-tee it...

felt the pain when I... fell again then I...
ran so many miles down memory lane,
tears can't help but thin out... I-
picked up the pavement,
my back is cement stained with the-
blood of 400 years of life dying in cages...
lesson I learned in jail,
without a day spent behind a bar of music,
created the time I had to go through hell...
and if you can't comprehend the facts remainin,
then masonary slaves can never be free within themselves...
I covered Miss liberties pussy walls with graff,
and if you laugh it'll be the only thing I'll ever do seriously...
kids got what it takes to teach, but run the streets with thugs,
will we grow up... if we don't learn from their mistakes..?
I learned fate is bruised hard, you're never write the rules,
now you can choose scars... but who's palm is handin the truth...
look past the eyes, through the lies that are, now son it's over,
and see you in the distance... with the stars, go nova...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129419
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129752

I learned fate is bruised hard, you're never write the rules,
now you can choose scars... but who's palm is handin the truth...

Uncut dopeness right there.

The rest was delivered deeply and with such tight emotion...

But, the rhyme scheme was so hard to follow...

I'd see traces of it, then lose it, then pick it up again in the middle of the next bar type of thing.

Very complex, good, maybe, I'm confused, to be honest.

But the message was stellar...<------(I wordplayed myself! LOL!)

Ya rhyme ia good advice from someone who took the wrong route.

Peace

lol... yea... the rhyme scheme is a lil hard to find... it's a lil hard to type it how it goes... you'll hear it shortly... ;)

Very nice short drop with a peotic feel to it, I enjoyed the read. Flow was there, but as B2k mentioned seemed to drop off the radar for a line or two. I guess that's why I picked up a peotic feel to it. I like the line that B@K highlighted, the wording there was just that dope! More so then the rest of the drop, but all good drops seem to have a few lines that stand out more than the rest. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to make it more pleasing on the eyes, as in structure. That is the only thing that I see needs some improvement, it would only add to the great content of the drop.

Great read...

thanks... but... I'm cool at makin it easy on the eyes... it's not a text joint... it's just... this...

...

Word .. Got the complex rhyme scheme .. But Im feelin' the content in it ..

"my back is cement stained with the-
blood of 400 years of life dying in cages..."

That was sick right there .. But I liked that Ms Liberty line second to that one .. I caught the flow .. But I agree that is was difficult to keep up with .. Nice piece still

i wit every1 else ur ryme scheme was mad hard to follow, overall the flow was hot, it was like u was spitn some poetic knowledge flow, and i like how u used my name at the end, thanks for the tips on "Stra8 out the dome".

rhyme scheme definetly hard to follow... lol thanks...