Im Just...Tired

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126573

I guess its more meant to be sung kinda than rap, But yeah....

Im just so tired of this world…
…………………It gets harder, I can barely stand it…
Cause everything gets hurled…
…………………At me, Its like everything is damn shit…
Im just so tired of even trying…
…………………When all it gets me is no where really…
And failure is just like dying…
…………………And that is all this life can deal me…
Im just so tired of caring…
…………………When in return I get nothing from you…
But a mouth full of swearing…
…………………I really am thinking that im done too…
Im just so tired of the lies…
…………………That circulate through my head…
Hows it feel to make me cry…
…………………With tears full of pain that I shed…
Im just so tired of all this work…
…………………Doing the samething over and over…
I guess you can call this hurt…
…………………Cause lately I’ve been growing colder…
Im just so tired of feeling distant…
…………………Away from everyone that I care for…
But then it happens in a instant…
…………………The feeling hits me, I cant bear more…
Im just so tired of feeling alone…
…………………Is anybody even out there to help?…
Don’t think I can do it on my own…
…………………Cause I cant play what im delt…
Im just so tired of being me…
…………………And all the trouble that I have…
Wish I could be fleeing free…
…………………Instead of bending my back in half…
Im just so tired of everything…
…………………Especially this life that I call mine…
I wish the angels would sing…
…………………So they would be making it all fine…

I think, that theres alot more to the topic than u sed, even though u did cover alot of its aspects, I couldnt help but feel there was something about this, that was lacking..
But, a truly emotional piece, and I liked the simplicity of the way u keyed it. I just cant imagine how this would sound as a song, but I would really understand it better as a spoken rap.. You know that type that drawls..

"Cause lately I’ve been growing colder…
Im just so tired of feeling distant…
…………………Away from everyone that I care for…
But then it happens in an instant…"
^^ I liked this line the best, becos to me, it stood out the most

A nice drop altogether.. But the emotion is wat impacted on me the most.
keep droppin


ill

Yeah thanks man, Upping :)

It's like Eminem's "new rhyme" pattern type...yeah. This was 'meh' compared to some of yours. The emotion was fine, not thoroughly expressed as others but it was there. You had a different concept than your usual love poem/ songs and it showed with creativity. Flow was good. Vocab was fine for love piece. Peace.