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Behind the Scenes
Outside I look normal, jus a teenager goin through rough times
Unbruised on the surface, fake smiles to please unaware minds
Its like a show I put on every day, I just gotta pretend to be fine
Cause people askin stupid questions, only makes me keep lyin
Grades steadily dropping in School, no motivation to try hard, fuck strife
As I watch rain splash on my car, It paints a smeared picture of my life
Another day gone by for me, Emotions tell me it's still one too many
Contemplate suiced often, wonder where my soul would send me
My feelings I hide, pent up inside...
Fuck this
I can't fuckin take it anymore! Fuck all those that made me like this
Lingustics can't describe my rage, Feelings hiding from outside sources
Can't keep this shit pent up anymore, Now aggression is spewing out
Cut my wrists and lick the blood, Then savor the taste in my mouth
You aint never seen me like this! But this is how I truly emotionally feel!
You fuckers would never understand! To you all of this shit aint real!
I storm through my room in a rampage, tears cause double vision like reflections
See a disgrace staring at me in the mirror, and then shatter the complexion
My personal life is in peices, Abusive relationships and shattered dreams
You see the fake me, but only my heart, soul and mind know me Behind the Scenes
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What you lacked in structure, you sure as hell made up for in emotion. Some rhymes were off, and some were so good it nearly sent a chill down my back.
Can't keep this shit pent up anymore, Now aggression is spewing out
Cut my wrists and lick the blood, Then savor the taste in my mouth
You aint never seen me like this! But this is how I truly emotionally feel!
You fuckers would never understand! To you all of this shit aint real!
^That was definitely your strongest stanza, great rhyme, flow, and emotion. Strong piece.
Please return the favor.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121236
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come on...I replied to a few OMs...up
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You definatley had emotion in this. BUT.. the structure was bad & their was no internal rhyming. It was decent but could have been alot better
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toss some multis in there and it wuill be pretty damn hot
P.S. your crazy
haha
but a nice VERY emotional filled drop
youd prolly be hot in audio, cuz with all that emotion itd be tight to listen to
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You aint never seen me like this! But this is how I truly emotionally feel
through and near that line emotions were good.
did like this lines flow with the others, nice peice
still yet, could have been better witht he struc,
and other shit , but just keep dropping,
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You kill yourself and i will be fuckin pissed at you...nice drop emotional good open heart surgery of your topic and nice OM.......lol he isn't even near that emotional on audio ....pz
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damn got a reply from the admin (MadMan), Evolve, and Mantik a respected topical writer...and all said it was pretty good ;)
i will edit my opinions in here....very emotional read though...
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damn benny! this shit is ill.... asian pride .... hehehe.. u IJL wannabe
This is a very emotional piece.. i love it.. i really feel what you are going thru.. im sorry life is so ruff but thats what your buddy is here for... this was good.. even though id rather you not make somthing like this.. unless it wasnt going through you.. seriously man this is a really good piece
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i was really feelin this piece man i feel da same way so as i related to dis it was really good your structure could of been better but your flow was nice i liked the imagersy almost like a chapter out of a novel maybe you should ex-tend this piece really nice piece to read i quite enjoyed it keep good shit comein...peace
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I promised you that I'll read this and I will...
I'll be back to edit this with a breakdown later on..peace..
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Damn Lyric. . emotional shit. The structure was a whore though, but you made up for it with the emotions running high. This would've been alot more effective with a better structure though. Overall though, with the emotion, this piece was very nice. . keep dropping man.
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Verrrrryy nice piece here man.. I saw this in FL in the topical but didn't get a chance to vote up. I really enjoyed this piece alot. Absolute great emotion portrayed.... I would quote some lines, but I liked them all.. very nicely done.
Dope.
peace
