10-20 Lines
Due in 30 minutes
Blind spit
Topic: Suicidal Thoughts
Printable View
10-20 Lines
Due in 30 minutes
Blind spit
Topic: Suicidal Thoughts
"Suicidal Thoughts"
I was always known to be a happy child
That changed, once i became so wild
I gave up in school, and started doing drugs
Began losing loves, and shootin slugs
What can i say, started crack.. got addicted
Ever since then, my life became conflicted
I was confused, had no control over mental state
Check my mental rate, i was known for intentional hate
I started losing friends, no one to turn to when needed
I never knew, from drugs.. my life would be so heated
I decided to quit, but the addiction overcame me
I can't belive.. my life over played me
What to do.. Theres only 1 thing i can think of
Also.. is somethin that i'm scared to speak of
Suicide.. No, No.. i'm to afraid to die
But at this point, i'm not afraid to try
I'm thinkin Suicidal thoughts, and i'm tempted
I dont got nothing to lose.. imma attempt it
As i grab my gun, and raise it to my head
I think relief, as the trigger releases.. and i'm dead
oh right so you ask me to choose a topic and then you pick one of your own anyways?
Oh well here I go...check it!
Dam this shit is deep, its peirced my heart, I cant sleep
Im sweating and thinking, suicides my release.
The only way out, grains of sand in an hour glass
Im trying to be strong but how long will I last.
I got a pain in my heart and it wont go away
and im thinking my lifes blinking, I dont wanna see another day.
But how shall I end it and do I have the guts
Fuck it, I got no one, no one there to trust.
Whether I jump or shoot, im the invisible man
People see right through me with a gun in my hand.
My thoughts are cloudy, theres a storm in my head
I cant help to thinking id be better off dead.
Empty of feeling like im under the knife
Constantly dreaming of someone elses life.
The grass is always greener on the other side
My soul is black, my eyes wide but not alive.
I stutter at the edge my heart starts to flutter
It a long way down but im destined for the gutter.
My final resting place, on the street where I belong
Im heading down and in my head is this one last rap song.
gud battle maine gud luk!
uppin once for votes..........................!
aight..............................id say this was an ok battle..............
ILLunatic had a nice story and had nice flow.....................
...................................Guilty cam ok and then soft n other parts.......
pretty close if u ask me.................i liked the way ILLunatic was going wit it..
i mean his presentation and such..........................didnt feel that from G..
..........................................overall id say 8/10 from ILLunatic........
and 7/10 from G. .aight it was close but ill say ILLunatic pulled this off...
vote/ILLunatic for holding his own and staying on topic more consistantly...
.................................................. ...............................................
nice try G next time just be more creative and yull be fine..............
yo ite i wanna give props to guilty as ill ent the easiest
topical to battle.but i still have to go with ill
i liked this topic and i think ill touched on it more
he had a nicer structure and a smart layout
also his flow was nice and touched ther subject
form a better angol to me....guilty you had a nice verse
just not enuf complexcity with vocad etc.
v-ill
both were decent...still i felt that ill shoulda came harder aginst guilty...guilty didnt really perform up to what ill did..both couilda been a whole lot better...simplistic flow and short verses....ill had short lines and guilty just didnt have good lines......so im gonna have to give this one to ill...
v/Ill
Guilty, newbie to the site, but judging your battle I can tell not exactly a newbie to this text shit..
illunatics verse was pretty nice shit, flow wasnt the best, because its not exactly how i would set out a verse, explored the things that make you think about suicide and to me that was a main part of the verse, although you couldve mentioned depression and shit like that, wouldve scored you more points.
guilty, had an average verse, flow was pretty choppy, and atleast stayed on topic thru out the verse, although talking about guns all the time and shit aint exactly tight you know man..you didnt really explore the issue as much as illunatic did, so ima give th vote to ill..
V/ill
4-0
Uppin#1
That's one powerful motherfuckin ending..In fact, it stuck through my head the whole time I was reading GUILTY's..nice.Quote:
Originally Posted by ILLunatic
ILLunatic - First thing that comes to mind is imagery..very detailed and nice...I was feelin for the made up character, which leads into strong emotion. I've had friends that are suicidal, and your verse reminded me of some flashback convos with them..Flow and structure were set up very nicely..couldnt find a flaw in this one man..definitely a keeper :thumbup:
GUILTY - You woulda had to have a perfect drop to win this, unfortunately. Don't get me wrong, your stuff was dope, and I'm certain you aint a newb to rappin, or topicals for that matter. Ditto on the imagery and creativity..kinda see-sawed on the topic a lil, but overall ok. Flow was also fine, lil choppy at one point, but you balanced it out nicely..Good try in this one man, keep improving.
Vote - ILLunatic