Dishonor Killed The Soulja

Look…we been frends for a couple of years now…
I watched your back countless times…and we always down…
But when you take a look around…and you cant see me…
and then you snitch on my ass…and let my trust defeat me…
How cood you do that…how cood you snitch…
We rode together…I got you outta that ditch…
Then you deceive me…look bitch this aint easy…
But you turn on my back on me…n you mislead me…
I have to finish you off…and bitch believe me…
you fucked up…then come back and say you need me…
What the fuck is that…you think you can apologize…
you screwed me over…and dare to look me in the eyes…
All I can see is my rival…your eyes glisten…I see denial…
you make me sick…you piece of shit…I can smell your bial…
you shit your pants…you too scared to face me…
you shoodn't have cracked…your ass don’t faze me…
Start runnin bitch…your eyes are getting hazy…
its your fault I have to ruin you and your famly…

Look man…your time is done…your life’s over…
you fuckin dishonor…you call yourself a soulja…
Look man…don’t fuck around I told ya…
But now imma hafta heat you up and mold ya…

I thought you were loyal…now you made my tempa boil…
you "little *maggot*"…the "only way your 6 feet"…is *in tha soil*…< so you can see it easier
your a fuckin patato…when I'm through…you got no seeds…
First imma kill your girl…no roots to create leaves…
Ur family tree…just deceased…cant you feel the breeze…
How could you?…I just blazed your leaves like it was weed…
your limbs fell…your twigs snapped…your trunk is dug up…
Pull up the roots…and now your parents aint got noone to love…
accept for themselves…but when the bells tonight go off at twelve…
your dead parent's bodies are going to swell…
and when your famly’s souls are released…
............................I wish they go to hell…
…hell…
…hell…
…hell...
chorus x 2

not a tru story obviously, but i have strep throat n got bored n jus wrote this, i dont care if it sucks just drop feedback please, thats the only way imma learn

n the links are

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06#post1248406

and...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25#post1248425

This was decent..really man....Your flow was off tho...Your spelling of words wrong threw it off for me...The topic is a bit played...but you handled it well...good imagry..and I felt the emotion of the piece...Try and even out ya structure to improve your flow...not a bad drop tho...

PLease check this out.. http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118104

thanx man, haha, im just used to typin like that n i know it needs ta change, but its a habit n i hate it, i bet if i fixed the spellin of it the flow wood seem a little bit better, n it sounds good when i rap it myself cuz i know how to rap it, but imma edit it n correct the spelling

dis was decent but really wasnt dat special...flow was choppy...structure was not good....but i enjoyed the concept of it kept me reading....
i would improve on using more advanced vocab cuz dis was jus too basic...u have to keep the reader guessing u know what i mean...
anyways keep elevating....

This was a pretty good drop, and i thought it was like sum sort of diss untill you said u made it up...lol......the only thing that ruined it was the part were u kept repeating the words hell and me so it could flow better, next time try not to make that forced....good overall drop.......6.5/10

yah, well, i didnt kill nebody, but the snitchin thing was tru, ha, so it was kinda a dis, but yah me thing was kinda Jay-Z and i know i shoddnt do that, the hell thing was like a fading away in the end, n like i sed im not good at vocab n im working on it

uppin

uppin