...Raise The Bar...

...Raise The Bar...

What you can see in your mind, you can achieve on some scale,
It takes nothing to try, but were all on trial when we fail,
Mistakes can be learned from, but we say why take that risk?
Face embarrassment, or stick to what already exists?
Follow like sheep, stick to the path with our friends,
Whats the point of adventure, we know where this road ends,
The same place, and here we are safe, why chance loss?
What's to say that we'll win, succeed or get lost?
Trapped in insanity, died stuck to the wall,
Never dared to venture forward, too afraid he would fall,
Be forced to crawl all the way back, back to square one,
And start over again, like true love when its gone,
Black hole, tumbling downwards, a chute becomes twisted,
They told me as a young child, if its not broke, why fix it?
Why risk it? Why lose out on the security i own?
Why lay my cards on the table? Why walk out all alone?
Why stray from the flock? Why turn my back on the block?
I value this position, why gamble all that I've got?
They argue my case, say change isn't always that bad,
But you never miss out on, things that you never had,
In time I'll be glad, that I insured all that was mine,
Never bet on the outcomes, never lost a dollar or dime,
Played life in the safe lane, and kept moderate smiles,
Never had times of hardship, yet never times more than fine,
Never had to start over, build up from the bottom pile,
Never hurled one foot forward, never ran that extra mile,
Stuck in between, never a moment of pain have i seen,
But never a moment of joy, and it's almost obscene,
I see some of them grow, happy smiles on their faces,
While others, they cry, spray gunfire on races,
Is it worth taking chances? Is it worth risking shots?
If you had one oppertunity, would you let it fall through the slot?


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116971

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117255

I think this one is better than yo other 1 about "jitterburg" but does asks alot of questions...i liked it....it's like "why" askin yoself why u even breath..lol

But yea nice way u used it............i liked it i enjoyed it....u got skillz no doubt.

thanks, and i use rhetorical questions to provoke thoughts to the reader, and as to why do we breate? i dunno, maybe i'll write an insight into it..thanks for the reply again..

anyone else?

You have your head screwed on.. One of the few who has..

Nice piece.. Flow was good through most places.. Best piece you have dropped in OM.. Well done..

But.. Too many compliments give you nothing except a swell head..

You need to work on your vocabulary.. Im sure that if you used a better and wider range of words.. Then you would of made this piece much better.. It was good.. But everything can be improved..

You are getting much better.. Im proud..

Hit up my topical battle in Elevated Front Lines.. Against SmokaJoka666.. It is no polls anyway.. So you can vote.. You can anyway as you have more than 5 wins..

Thanks..

Pz..

wow thanks, and i certainly don't want a swelled head, how will i ever get through the door into Legends? only joking, i have my head screwed on? your about the only person to ever say that, most think i'm crazy! I'm proud of you too. Your dope and yeah, i'll got check your battle, i like topical...

This was a step up from the last work that i read from you. I liked the constant questions. The flow was smooth and easy to read, like all of your stuff is. Free was pretty much on point, even though i hate when he says "up your vocab".Lol. But nice drop, ma. Keep up the good work.

Please drop feedback here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117801

hey thanks for the comments..keep em rolling in...

Nice job with the questions - it pulls the reader in. Flow was pretty good. Vocab was ok - but could be upped. It was a nice ending but I would've done it differently - since the piece was based around questions I would've liked to see it end with an answer. Very nice work though - hit my ELEETE collab if you can. (Two Geniuses - One Mind)

checked it, it was good, but is pen dead? i hearing a lot of rumours?

^^^^^^^^^^No he had surgery

oh..i was worried about him, because theres all these rumours flying around i dunno what to believe, so is he ok?

Yes,i think he if fine.