Is It A Love Song?

It goes beyond the obvious… lies commodious in lives
For some it defies and amplifies… so they take a miss
…But then where’s the bliss?… fuck this!
Cos you’ve gotta try to keep alive the race
We don’t wanna fall next on the endangered list
So replace the dying with babies crying then reminisce
A grandparent on picnics… ya grandchild’s smiling face
Yes… it’s never too late to gyrate to a happier place
It’s known that love creates more than money brings
…and that Material things can be replaced
And no, gold stamped rings don’t equal perfect days
It just adds to the maze and can haze what’s important
So what’s that?… It’s loves endorsement,
An emotional combat… with an age-old enforcement
And to the opposite contract… it’s 10 fold more than…
Out Performing, cos 2 peeps falling is romantic
Like a horizon dawning… ya hearts manic, ya frantic,
With panic cos it’s enthralling… it hits without warning
Like her gorgeous face in the morning…
Its soul forming while relations last… but then collapse
And complications end the climax… so what then?
Face facts… your getting hurt and your alone again
On you own to fend… broken hearted, and why?
Cos you let her in too deep and when ya do that ya fried!
So I only sleep with and try not let emotion override
But either way ya can’t win… alone or together you die



http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117255
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...318post1226318

This was good...

Ive known this has been in "development" all day...

Iight... Here goes...

This was a nice topic and a feel that you took it on well... Vocabulary was nice... Used it well to portray this topic out nicely...

You also hit on some nice concepts during the piece... Especially the closer... Very "heart-touching" my man... Props...

Critisizm... Was gona say length... But then checked and it was 26 lines... Lol... Doesnt seem that long... Anyway... Erm... Not critisizm... More of a pointer... See you used a new structure... Not my cup of tea... But yea... Nice all the same...

Keep it up dawg...

Hit up something in my sig that you aint touched on yet...

Pz...

uppin

Interesting structure - scheme was pretty complex - flowed nicely. Vocab was nice too. I like the way you hit this - very personal. Didn't give any popular views but one that is clearly your own. Nice piece - Hit my Lamentations or SyaNidal collab if you can.

Nice flow..
Good structure
Emotional piece
Interesting read
Very nice...
Keep it up

this is good nice piece.. good tittle lol.. even that had me thinking let alone the actual verse this is a real nice piece like most of yours any way...

pleez hit mine up.. its in the sig

very nice piece very good keep it up
your internet 1 was good 2 tho

thx... uppin

yeah... blah blah... the new open is so active...lmfao

Interesting unique piece..I guess this was a piece on ones point
of view Dev..I should say your point of view.

Nice vocabulary nice flow and nice structure..structure was
On point…made it easier to read and understand.

At the ending of your piece.. It made me realize and understand
Your piece better, brought clarity and I was like oh ok.
Over all nice piece.
Subject wise it was ok. Flow wise very good and structure wise
Also you brought your point of views across very nicely.

Just my opinion though peace…

Dev nice ... VERY NICE. I really enjoyed this... prop one of the best iv read recently ... i dunno why but i connected with it so well, and the structure and flow was spot on to make the picture paint it self. This was something special man ... As i said i dont know what but this really click with me ... :) good work man...

thx peeps....

--[Flow]---
You had somewhat of a original rhyme scheme goin on...loved the interline rhymes, it really helped me stay focused and with the piece....nice bar length too, they were pretty much the same length which really helps the bars to flow smoothly and fluently.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was, as usual, tight...really used some well thought out words...they really well tightly related to the piece and wern't just added for superficial [spellin?] reason...this is defiently one aspect in which you excel at.

--[Concept]--
Anothe rplace where you come above the rest...you have the ability to really make me come in contact with thw words and 'picture you are painting'.....some dope bars:

"We don’t wanna fall next on the endangered list
So replace the dying with babies crying then reminisce"

"And no, gold stamped rings don’t equal perfect days
It just adds to the maze and can haze what’s important"

--[Overall]--
Defiently a contender for OM of the month...4.5/5..loved your imagry and you had such an original rhyme scheme and flow...dopeness.

now this is what i've been missing out on. Dev as usual your work is very amazing and eye opening your flow was dope. You always have a good structure so thats not surprising. Makes me wanna go hug a ho

^^lol......