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everytime thers a revalution theres a evalution
an evalution thats finds a needed solution
a solution to to get rid of shit & polution
yo my girl once said, the things u do make u dead
and i agreed wid her until i saw dat fed
i mean, that cop, he should get the chop
my girl, she just went down the shop, i mean wut da fuck
now shes dead, i no it was dat fed tht put 15 bullets in her head
this world iz full wid gays, gays tht think i'll do wut ever they say
i mean wut they say, they say that if i get in the way,
then i'll die before my next birthday, but i did and im ok
every1 that lives iz insane, they dont no wut the real worlds like, full of pain
but then pain, itz part of this game, if u start like them, then ur be the same
the only people that arnt insane, r real niggaz but half r dead, wut a shame
yo compared to me wn, the man eminem, iz so feminine, wn thatz my name
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You need to leave 2 links of replies you left or this will get closed, Thanks.
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This was ugh... ok :S
You started off ok and then you fell off... your vocab was ok, but your flow needs work... and all that gay stuff isnt necessary...
And attacking other rappers when you are a textcee is pretty dumb... so dont do it
Overall, just try and fix up your structure by making your lines even and easier to read... try using some multies to enhance the rhymes and bring some more original and interesting topics... this should lead to a better vocab... try using some imagery like metaphors and similes...
Just keep dropping and you'll improve with time... good luck
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Links Dont Work, Get 2 That Work Or This Will Get Closed.
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your first link was a link to your own piece, and your second link was a link to another person's piece that you didn't give feedback on.
enough is enough.
