Engraved In My Mind. ft/Eviley

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115771
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116064

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Eviley:
My life is just a dark inner beauty where a little light shines
my facial expressions won't reveal how i truly feel deep inside
where i continualy hide from all the creatures in my concious seem to lie
and my inner reaction can't comply to this gift i was givin called my grieveing life
why must i try? when everything i recieve has givin up on me
and i can no longer believe in some sort of spiritual remedy
i've givin up on prayer for my knees are numb and my heart continually bleeds
this wish that was laid upon my lips was a kiss from devils own selfishness
where heaven is no longer in the lead of the surrounding light i use to once see
why must to take my will to succeed and leave me sleeping in this alley without money or
food to eat?
this is what everyone is blind to see or care for my kind
this life i have to settle for is Engraved in my mind.....

RythmicTendicies:
So many tragedies, Each one comes like a unforeseen surprise...
Never demise no matter how many people hear my silent cries...
Deep inside my brain are insane thoughts that withhold my pain...
It’s restricted, so much hurt inflicted, but my heartache remains...
But no matter how cloudy my life is, the sun shines thru the rain...
& even after my father’s death, my emotions I was able to contain...

"Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born."

After my fathers demise, It was a call that made me realise...
That to my love, I could no longer confess so many lies...
To be honest, A goal that I had to learn to keep in control...
But soon I was saying: “meh.... she’ll never find out or know”...
It led to countless fights, countless battles and sleepless nights...
Destructive mental wars, Blacks the colour – no white lights...
Death, Love and Greed, sins that I try to hide behind...
If you opened my brain, studied it precisely, what’d you find...?
Would you find success of happiness, or tragedy Engraved In My Mind...

Ight, nice collab this was nice...

Flow - This kinda fell off, as you both came wit different flows, and tha bars weren't match'n a pattern, makin' tha sylabells blow, no hate, jus' make sure next time your verses match up...

Structure - This fell off too, as you both came wit different styles...

Overall - 7/10... tha lyrics in this were tha thing that kept it nice, but if you two both communicate more then this collab will be a helluva difference, it'll make tha collab from nice to quite dope... no hate...

up'

this was nice. Vocab was good and creativity was there i felt.. however the flow didnt go all that well.... and the first verse lacked structure a bit.. second one was fine. Hmmm perhaps you could have made the structure equal on both verses there for making this look like a piece.. other than that youz did well the message got through ... 7/10 :) good work

plz return the fav
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116574

I Liked This, Nice Short, Flowed Very Nicely, Your Concepts Werent Played, Your Structure Was Pretty good, But Why Does Everyone Post It In Small Letters?, I Liked Both Of Your Pieces The Same, But I Was Feelin The Whole Thing, The Whole Way Through, Nice Piece

Later

yea this was a kool collab,
flow was on point,
vocab was good,
and it also had some creativity,
that stood out to me,
structure wasn't all that good,
but i could give 2 fucks about structure,
thats not what matters to me,
lol, as long as i can keep flow wit it,
and it can keep me reading,
then its straight wit me,
overall this was a good collab,
i give it a 7/10 also. props.

hit up my peice called " A Daughter Of Eve "

thanx.
peace.

Decent piece...who is Eviley??...anyway..,this was decent..although I have seen alot better from RT...anywho...this was decent :)

^I know her from when i first joined..we were in B.R.E for a while..but shes one of the dopest female writes on Rb...^

up.

i thought it was pretty good.... Rhythmic came stronger, but like pen said ive seen better, still good tho... i liked ya structuring and scheme... Ev, yours too was pretty good, nice content to it..... pretty smooth... decent stuff

uppy.

Nice drop, i agree wit Pencil dick i've seen doper drops from you, but this is still a nice piece, good job.