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"4 GRANDMA"
This one is for my great-grandma I really admire her so this deep fom my heart.
I wanna take my grandma far away // where we can sit kick it and chill all day//
Dip our feet in the pool while we sip lemonade//she ain't got no worries cause
her paid //
I'll keep her laced with all the finest of things //give her anything she wont from dogs to diamond rings//
73 years I aint seen half of what she seen//I love her so much cause grandma is a queen//
Mildred Traylor superwoman indeed//so if it's within my reach i'll give her
anything she need//
She part the reason why I talk or I breathe//she's apart of who i am and i could never be naive//
Ever since I was just a little kid she went out of her way for me to do the
things she did//
Just to add to that I could talk to her like a friend//I could tell her anything
and i know she'd understand//
If i could buy u this country i would and all the rest// The love I have for u
no words can express//
U the greatest around it's bout time I confessed//and if u wanted this planet
i would start to invest//
U also half the reason for my so far sucess//cause u told me do my best and never settle for less//
If I knew every grandma in the world you'd still be the best//cause everything
u do is just dif'rent from the rest//
If it was up to me you'd have the finest fabrics on ya chest//somethin' classy wit finesse and u would never have to stress//
You'd have anything u want whether a Benz or a Lex//the love I have for u
you could neva eva guess//
I'd write ya name in the stars just to impress// that phenomenal woman with
such grace and such finesse//
In other words if u don't know jus wati mean//u deserve anything cause you's a million dolla queen//
If you was a buttafly you'd have themost beautiful wings//and if uwas a
hummingbird what a song you would sing//
If u wasa diamond you'd be the biggest bling bing//and if u was an outfit you'd be so fresh and so clean//
I'd give you a bad house badder than you ever dreamed//backyard wit everything from carousel's to swings//
I get u two dobie's just so can name 'em sheba and yakoo*//i'd get u the
world cause no one's greater than you
*names of her old dobie's and she always say she want 2 dogs to name yako and sheba
What u think of that honestly i'm open for suggestions
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I felt this piece. Very emotional and heart warming. Had good wording and imagery. Flow was off sometimes but it picked up with content.
7.5/10
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This was alright here.....structure could be a little fixed up cause your lines were stretched out a little but it was ok.....The emotion was good i thought cause it came from the heart....I liked this....the flow was ok, got off at points...but overall this was alright....keep at it.
