Eye Care

Earth was the beautiful place for everything...
...although nothing was in its place...

Constructed construction worker, just one in the working masses
green vest with the blue collar, now- unhatched bird of passage
The thirst to manage perished, left with this dehydrated memory
lost the will to see right and willed on the wont's of dependency
Broken the pennate dream, not even heaven believed in perfection
even the littlest promised land was there to intrigue my attention
Now I question rhetorics for the answer why I miss all passers by
and can't fully express my new found affection for land and sky
Earths fandom died, the vigilant all illiterate to the life signs
red and white the writers dialect of tedious trite, the Wine's dry
And hindsight is the shed light basked upon last rite situations
however bright- utterly meaningless, and my emotion's in abrasion
This is how I focus daily, stabbed in the back by my focal point
days spent as a waste to my optimistic search for the hopeful noint
Used to read feelings from the face of her, now fabled like Aesop
if only lost trace could talk and reveal the enormity of rasied dots
As torment seeks its grace spot in the perception took for granted
took to this new water slanted, so Satan, just hook this damned fish
Desire exists you can see it in my eyes, there-in lies the problem
wearing no goggles and overall lunacy, and here I hide unconscious
I'm tired of confidence, coaxing my optics, now- sleeping partners
I have this dream- I'm the 3rd inhabitant of Edan....weeding gardens
Grieving sharpens, illusionary laughing till all's regarded as a prick
melodramatic about burning my essence and angst carving at the wick
Sparking match that lit my surroundings, but all that surrounds me
is the accumulated eclipse of my civilization as the town sleeps
My head is pounding- constantly, all I want, to turn in eternally
worse is how I certainly don't deter this greif that determines me terminally
First to the heat, future is now, but for me there's no hope there
time to quest for strife or death, so there's no reason why I don't care!!

...But I want to die...because dying is the most helpful form of release...
What seems more scenic....
....this divine scheme of landscape brilliance..
...or this indignant mind playing ménage to these demons?!

I didn`t tell you on RV yet, cuz I haven't checked the battle(But now I know you seriously won) Very dope verse. I loved the way you approached the topic, more abstract than I would have expected. The eding was definately my favorite part, a nice way to finish a great piece. Props on winning the battle..;)

sadly slept on... (like my stuff ..heh)


again great use of english language utilised thruout the piece
not quite as abstract as some of your previous stuff but seemed to find a medium
worked well..

'This is how I focus daily, stabbed in the back by my focal point
^fukin ill

'I'm tired of confidence, coaxing my optics, now- sleeping partners
I have this dream- I'm the 3rd inhabitant of Edan....weeding gardens
^as above

have to say the opening lines reeled me in..but in fact the whole verse was opening lines
delight to read
and the ending capped it off with a finishing touch of quality
really liked the way you rhyme words and dont look for that easy option if you comprehend
eg wife/life type shit wont be found in your text
which can only be a good sign

^It is pretty sad that stuff like this get slept on...Once again..and again....and again...you have amazed me...I said this before..and I will say it again{I'm sure I'll say it again in your next piece}...*Stamps* Legendary...{I envy you^^}

wow. I think this is the first piece of yours I have actually buckled down and read, and it was well worth the read. Your perception on the topic, though as said above, abstract, shined through your words in every line. your flow was on point throughout. Beautiful, just beautiful.

if you could hit up my piece in my sig, I would appreciate it.

Thanks Accelerate...your verse was dope as well though =)

Appreciate all the feedback :)

sup yo its ya boy,east side yo how do u get to battle

yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo

lol

How rood?!

Darn it

hey, mines got buried 3 pages ago..don't feel bad

LOL..yea..normally my pieces drop to there and beyond

Ye Gods - I thought you were just being witty with the "Soundshit" in your sig.

*reads text twice to erase memory of sonic pandamenion*

Nice text again. You're very skilled with words - you provoke a backdrop of emotion to your message. Liked:
I'm tired of confidence, coaxing my optics, now- sleeping partners
I have this dream- I'm the 3rd inhabitant of Edan....weeding gardens
and
This is how I focus daily, stabbed in the back by my focal point
days spent as a waste to my optimistic search for the hopeful noint
and and
My head is pounding- constantly, all I want, to turn in eternally
worse is how I certainly don't deter this greif that determines me terminally

Keep writing - I really enjoy your stuff.

LOL...Nope I'm never sarcastic about that stuff... I'm just trying to be innovative, you know?! ;)

Thanks for the read :)