Till Eye Die Anthem (struggles)

{Hook.. i guess lol}
I know its hard...
to step in a kids body with a mind of a man..
I know its hard...
but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan..
I know its hard...
to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan..
I know its hard...
But these are my struggles and i will conquer them..


My song my athem compressed with emotion
All those past years did it have a different notion
Why fight for somthing not there.. i gotta stay focused
Please believe.. I'd Rather state this motion
Sealed within my soul, I dont hold the answer
My uncle died when i was 10.. no not from cancer
Suicide...... his thought of life was rancor
I still stay with my pen and paper.. my deadliest weapon
I rep my asian backround.. pride till death kid
My life normal, but consolidated with conflicts
I'm a rebel, a hero no i cant let this harm stick
Pain Sorrow and Hate all together condensed
Math im x......... the way i never stay constant
I'm never noticed matter a fact im impersonal
Nobody knows or cares and that is the worst of all
First Born........ does this mean im first to fall
Am i cursed........ or is everyone ill-fated
If I ever have a chance to make a difference i will state it
This is my song, my anthem, in epic porportions
I speak the truth im not fake I will inform this
This is me, my rules........... i will inforce this........
Please Believe

{Hook.. i guess lol}
I know its hard...
to step in a kids body with a mind of a man..
I know its hard...
but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan..
I know its hard...
to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan..
I know its hard...
But these are my struggles and i will conquer them..

up it jeez feedback would be nice

well done. the beginning was the best part of this i'd say. some of
the rhymes were lost but it still made for a good verse. i was actually
impressed by it, seeing your record. but then again, records don't
mean diddly squat if you think about it. but i got several images in my
head from this one. the structure and flow was good, with the exception
of rhymes missing. the vocab was nice, and i felt the topic, it had heart.

hit this up in return plz
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113569

keep writing. pz

up it

up it

feedback pleez

This was a good Open Mic. I like how you put your struggles into it. It was good and had good vocab.

up again

This is feedback...

lol jk... nah this was actully ok... vocab lacked... but it was nice dunny... i mean i read it so it had to be atleast decent... (lol jk)... i'm such a joker...

Peep out my H.E.l.l. OM ... its nice too

Caesar - On3

nice drop had a good flow and nice vocab while i was reading it it was like struggles were mine it gave me that type of feeling

Several nice lines, liked the emotion you gave. As mentioned there were some missing rhymes. Liked this line:
Math im x......... the way i never stay constant

...and what's a "wanigan"?

Hit something in my sig - thnx. (Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet preferably)

a word..
definetion..-a chest for cherished items

o man this is better than i thought.....lol.......hellz keep reppin azn pride.......yo this shyt was hot, but i didnt know wat a wanigan was untill i read the post^^^lol.....overall i liked it so it pretty good.....check out mah collab with krogenix called....was that ur aimmm..trust me its worth reading

hey hey thanx for the feedback lets get some more...