10 lines min
16 lines max
No crew/dr/hate votes
I'll spit first this time
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10 lines min
16 lines max
No crew/dr/hate votes
I'll spit first this time
Look who's back tryin' to pick up his act, tryin to give it another go
I'll bestow you with a second defeat and just make sure you know
-My words kill Demons, so you're useless like infertile semen
You're only new to a hopeless kid who's been wet dreamin'
Swimmin around looking for a chance only to find you're bein jacked off
Smacked off, smeared on bedsheets, nothin more, so better back off
To me you're like an uncleaned diaper, full of shit, damn the DC sniper
If you'd been picked as a target, the shit'd be wiped up, so dont get hyped up
If you were a page in History, you'd definately be the Dark Ages
Back then nobody knew what they were doing, guys like you'd be in cages
If I were a page, I'd be the Renaissance, coz I revolutionize rap like trade
And disgraces like you would be sure to get the blade, send this guy some aid
If he were a country I'd be sure to migrate, I guess you're a primate
You got the vocab of one and you stayed the same, while we became great
Well see ya kinda wrong wen ya wrote ya words kill Demons
see im a DemonHunter not a punter cause i dunt need to bet
cause your set in concrete , waiting for defeat
get up of ya seat cause wen hear me ya gonna fear me
and then your gonna run cause your a demon in my books
ya got the same ugly looks , psshhht knightmare u fukin get nightmares!
cause your afraid of the dark , afraid to walk threw the park alone ud wish
it was noah's ark that way we'd walk in pairs u and ur gay buddy
walkin downstairs that way u and him could hit da floor
get a little more action and here's the reaction of ur buddy
when ya wip ya little fella out he shouts cause even ants seem tall
next to ya ballz , thats right u got nuffin there thats why people always stare
at the ugly and slow kid (dats you) hehe see dat i had to explain
dusnt that make u run in shame that ur the fuked up kid whos gay and lame!
proof your slow look at my name it means i hunt demons, and wat the fuk is it with u and semen and jackin off oh i forgot - u like to see men and jack dem off!
ok, now that we're done, can we please get some votes and oppinions please
thanx
I don't have enough posts to officially vote, but here's my thoughts anyways:
Flow: Demonhunter: Your shit didn't flow very well. I get what you
were trying do, but I think you were trying to be too complex.
You should start off by using a simpler structure, like rhyming
the words at the end of each sentence. By trying to be too
complex, your shit didn't really flow well and was hard to read.
Seperate each line and try and make them the same length, i.e.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx....
This would really help; not only with flow but its just easier to
read.
Knightmare: Pretty good flow here, maybe a little too wordy in
some spots, but still good. The multis also
helped it flow nicely.
Punches/ Personals: Demonhunter: Punches were weak and didn't
hit very hard. To write a good punch, your going
to have to be more creative with the content
and wording. You should also stay away from
sex/gay punches, cause' they are seriously
played an wont get you many votes. As for
personals, they also came weak and far too
played/uncreative. I saw that you tried to
flip his name, but it was very weak and uninspired
Be more creative: check your opponenets profile,
and try to use stuff like his name,record,bio,
intrests, etc. against him. Also be more direct and
try not to talk about yourself.
Knightmare: Decent job with the punches and
personals. Not bad with the creativity, a few lines
felt played though, I.e. the jack off line. Good
personal about your guys last battle and his name
but would have liked to see more of them.
Vocab: Nothing special from either, but Knight's shit flowed good
so i'd say it was less of a concern for him than Demon'.
Creativity: Knightmare you just came off way more creative than
Demon' w/ the entire verse. Demon' your verse lacked
any real creativity to make it standout. Again try to
be more creative and stay away from the sex/gay punches.
Overall: Not a very good battle. Demon', you need some serious work
on your punches,personals,structure,and above all your
creativity. Don't try to get too complex wit' yer shit. Punches
and personals win battles, so just be more creative/direct.
Knightmare, not the best verse, but it got the job done.
Some alright creativity here, but punches could have hit harder
and you could have used more personals. This one
wasn't hard to decide , my vote (if I could officially vote)
would go to: Knightmare
Uppin the thread plus can we have some votes and opinions please!
DemonHunter
uppin the thread plus we need some votes please
DemonHunter