A Devils Rant

I’ve been told of a man called god
People worship his worthless image
A dream sold through a mangled fog
A steeple so perfect but the surface hid cynics

I’m the patch of evil red on his robe
That bloodied cloth of his purity
I’m the black tax in peoples heads of this globe
That muddied rot of insecurity

Cos what good is religion without a nemesis?
Variety is the spice of darkened life
I thought good is wisdom with no doubt in sentences
As I quietly slit Her sight with sharpened knife

You see im the reason for religion
That lesson taught from a bare pulpit
To me I am the season of division
A weapon sought to scare dull wits

The weak minded avoid the ‘sins’ of the bible
My reputations damned,a real bastard
They speak blinded, annoyed I sued for libel
I let durations hands steal a pastor

I burnt the text of the bibles twisted morals
Cos it rusted my halo
I’ve hurt the best of my rivals blistered quarrels
But I’m trusted to tint the day glow

I’m just an old man dipped in red
But the heavens court used me
Harmful to gods plans so the scriptures said
Thus the tennents faught and bruised me

I was livid and promised to fight the injustice
Banished to the earths basement
I envisaged a plan and demonics to light my crushed fists
My new habits slew the First statement

But my plotted revenge subsided in Hell
All alone with miseries grip
My knotted intent silenced by a spell
Now my morbid thrown is overgrown and im physically sick..

Impressive piece i thought...the concept on this was great...i've never seen this done before. Well done. The rhyme scheme I liked. Seemed like a poem the way this was presented but none the less was a great work of art. Your vocab was good multies were good. Ovwer all this was a great piece i really enjoyed this read probably one of the best this month....peace

nice peice.
vocab was off the hook .... and the
feelling of the peice kept in key with
the topic. i can beilieve mabey a
devil did write this o.o nah but
some parts i wasnt feeling like it
was a devil but that got me thinkin
of the devil as a man and all that
shit....thanx for trains of thoughts.

This is something I actually think about a lot. I also argue it just as much. Personally, I couldn't agree more with:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fgee

Cos what good is religion without a nemesis?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by fgee

You see im the reason for religion

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And I actually used points along those lines last night when talking about this with someone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fgee

I’m the patch of evil red on his robe
That bloodied cloth of his purity
I’m the black tax in peoples heads of this globe
That muddied rot of insecurity

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That was awesome as well, thought I would point that out.






But...I thought the Duck was god?

This was cool man...

Liked this... Good vocabulary...

Concept for this piece was dope... Never even heard of the topic before... Dope...

Was set out like a poem... But flowed like it should...

Nothing much to critisize...

Only got one more thing to say...

Check... 'The Sky'... Link in sig...

Props man...

Pz...

Nice piece. This is structured like a poem. I love the emotion of it. The whole stroy was pretty ill. My favotite lines were...
"Cos what good is religion without a nemesis?
Variety is the spice of darkened life"
^completely ill and truthfull. Keep up the good work.

Please drop feed in one of the links in my sig when you get a chance.

--[Flow]---
Poetic feel, basically by the structure...you had good rhymes though, none simplistic n' everything had a meaning behind it:

"I was livid and promised to fight the injustice
Banished to the earths basement
I envisaged a plan and demonics to light my crushed fists
My new habits slew the First statement"

--[Vocab]--
Vocab [for such the short bars you had] was dope...fitted about all the syllables you could within' the bars...didn't just put 'big' words in there for the fun of it, see it happening alot in OM, you put thought behind them.

--[Concept]--
Concept was, maybe a little played?, but you added a personal, firsthand perspective to it, really help me relate to it that way...you portrayed a damned soul, sent to hell, wanting out, wanting to be forgiven...tight.

--[Overall]--
Nothing wrong with it, i mean, the structure/flow/meaning/vocab/wordplay were all on point..lol...4/5...not seen you do this kinda thing before, good to see your experimenting...Glad to see you back on Rb as well :)

Dope Fgee just plain dope............you truly show your skill here.........i love the concept........new feel to most.....the emotion was there an is what drew me into it even more.......If you got the time hit my latest OM up! thanks! Its been nominated for OM of the month!
I Bought Her Flowers Today
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=111616&page=1

ups

I thought it was truly homosexual, in a good way. :)

Nice, I See You Switched Your Style, Using Shorter Lines N All And It Worked Well. Very Good Imagery, And Typical Fgee Usage Of Good Vocab! Not Really Much To Criticise...Flow Was Good, Consistancy Was Key Here, And Topic Chosen, And The Way You Approached It Was Great.

Great Drop.

appreciate all the fb

Wow...great vocabulary, great flow, and most of all, great emothion and realness to the peace. I luv it homie. keep it up!!
holla back dawg....1

Man you are with out a doubt my favourite here. That shit was crazy. You like that perspective stuff,lol. You do it well, you could be like that cat on the pretender. So far I've seen you impersonate a mosquito and the devil. I guess if mosquitos could flow like you I'd be standin next to a creek in the middle of summer butt naked waitin to get bitten. If the devil could flow like you, Ima keep on sinnnin lol. you dope you know it. Thanks for the feedback, good to see someone not sleep on my shit. My shit can be basic at times but always profound, you just gotta see. thanks for looking. Like I said everyone's got different tastebuds, I'm tastin yo stuff man. And don't take that literally,lol.