Ambitions Opaque

Ambitions Opaque

Chorus:
Slow rise to the top, the mountain pursued
Straight narrow path, no chance to lose
On the right, the battle of clans and crews
Which direction suits, which one to choose

Verse 1
On the way to the top, it took me a while to clue in
That the ghastly figures was what I had to get through them
They advise to become a mathematician
Go to school, make money being a politician
Spend long years to become a top-notch English student
But insisting on associating with Hip Hop, that shits stupid
Another pale, white kid who was considered modest
To reach the prime stages, my style had to be honest
Can’t shout Black Panther slogans, or talk bout pistols
Or about public enemy number 1, sniffing coke crystals
Let us face the truth, I come from the subtle rural
No support from the residence, my mission was plural
Wanting to accomplish the path God put me on
To write these dramatic songs, to put forth a bond
And identify the crisis our breed encounters
I kept re-cycling my pattern, mimicking a music box dancer

Chorus twice

Verse 2
Of course, not only Pinacle fails to proceed
With the course of life, along with filth and greed
Resentment, the same men who came to disgrace
Provided the blinding light that created raps opaque
The bindings of its grip on reality lost grip
While the shady business found its cliché
The Hennessey they elegantly sipped, sifting into their lips
Drowned the talents who advanced with gifts
Look, the opportunity arose, then was deposed
On a daily basis, like Micheal Jackson switching chose
One day, peaceful and clam as the night faded to dawn
The other hour, fucking horrid as the demons spawned
The great fly of the producers opened to piss
Upon the raps soft lips, causing the eclipse
Sun faded to Moon, stars without a sparkle
As rap industry used piss to swallow and gargle

Chorus twice

Verse 3
Blasphemous, the diabolic hate swept
Over the land, as the catastrophe crept
Thoroughly, cocaine pipes and needles wanted to do me
Took menacing injections, while Brazilian chicks screw me
Viewed over as the credibility lowered
Possibility to increase, rare as 4-leaf clovers
Still, marked as a threat to my own substance
About to be diminished as the chessboards slants
Bishops enveloped the pawns, I took cover
The King protected me, held strong when I shuddered
No one of importance listened when I mutter
Only acknowledge my presence when my back is covered
Ever so slow, I regain my composure
And withdraw a loaded weapon from my holster
Can’t keep dirt off this cold shoulder
So in turn, I subconsciously bring instant closure
Safety off…brittle hands cock back the salvation
Little time wasted, short as my patience
I feel a tingly feeling, maybe the Lo sweater is static
Maybe not…as I feel I am cocooned in blue plastic

Chorus twice

UPPIN this song...I NEVER GET REPLIES, someone just give me a thorough breakdown and i will shut the fuck up...Thank You. I will return the favour.

Hmm..I actullay liked this...this wasn't that bad...your flow seemed forced in some places though..I liked your content and your imagery was okay...your wordplay was decent..keep it up..peace...^^

Theres my first reply to 3 Open Mics, thank you very much...Uppin this for comments and replies...will return favor.

--[Flow]---
Flow [as Pen said] was alittle forced in some places..you seemed more concious on rhyming rather than gettin' what you needed to say out..try to balence the two. Structure was nice though, bars were the same length..nice.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was pretty well constructed, the third verse i felt took it....it wasn't oversued however seem to be a little underused in some places, but overall it seemed to be spaced out well.

"So in turn, I subconsciously bring instant closure
Safety off…brittle hands cock back the salvation"

--[Concept]--
Liked what you were saying (nice title), you had alot of relative lines in there...felt the topic lacked some originality but it was good, 1st verse i thought had alot more relevance than the other too...

--[Overall]--
To be honest I wasn't expecting something as good as what i read...3/5...think you just need to adjust your flow and it'd be dope...you got alot of potential..Use it wisely.

All in all i thought this was a pretty good drop MC.....I can tell this isnt your best work cause ive read some of your other stuff and its pretty good.....I think you might have been going for a more personal meaning and thats good though cause thats what music is all about.....expression of oneself.....your flow at times struggled ......but i thought your first verse was nicely done.....keep doin your thing man!......


Hit Up My Latest

I Bought Her Flowers Today
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111616

yah pinacle, this was a hot drop, like another dude saeid flow was forced in some places, but noice, the vocabulary was good , not alot of multies but it still sounded pretty good, good choruses, honestly i have tuff time writing choruses for sum reason. not great creativity but it seems all good, good structure, it would make a good structure 2

please hit mine up 2 playa, keep yo self real 2, peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111697

Wonderful that Im getting criticism...Thank you very much for comments(from my two favorite Open Mic'ers)...Dope...Uppin this another time.