Deluxxe is here

i take explicit and illicit a little from both and split it
im a bad habit but you just cant kick it,
im a cross between evil and wicked
to get in my mind gimme your ticket
your first ride is free the next one will cost
im pickin up the extra skills that you lost
im like god i put the hollocaust on pause
retract your claws i aint lookin for beef
battle your beliefs dont come lookin for me
unless of course you blind and can't see
then you wont see my fist comin for your teeth
im hummin on your beats and overlay em with grace
my rhymes are mid-evil like mayhem with a mace
im gone without a trace and leavin no one alive
im givin up the chase and there's nowhere to hide
i strive to be the best that i can be
and my lyrical arsenal comes in handy
with shit so sweet it passes for candy
i freshen up with splashes of brandy
so get to know me before you brand me.



:shoot: By: Deluxxe :shoot: :thefinger

nice. :thumbup:

some one respond... i like feedback!

Content is blah, .. it rhymed, .. but nothing special, elevate..use better metta's, up ur vocab, .. i mean this was kinda useless.. i mean :
''your first ride is free the next one will cost
im pickin up the extra skills that you lost'' as audio it maybe sound good, .. but still i didnt feel the content, an as an open mic this was simplistic & un enjoyable =)

Have a nice day..

thanx for reading......and the feed-back, ill see what i can do. :}-~

everyone sleeps....don't! i need feedback..heh

This was ok.....structure seemed fine....the content i didnt really like that much though....try adding some more multies to this to make it better and more complex....some better metas as well....but overall this was ok....just keep at it.

This has got potential bit simple at the moment the sentences rhyme but they dont like go together theres jus no connection like they're jus stuck together. "your first ride is free the next one will cost
im pickin up the extra skills that you lost" Dont see the conection but its a start an with a little work could be improved.

thx... any more??

This pretty good if your just startin out man....dont pay attentin to what haters tell you keep writing stay focus an slip into the music.....itll come clearer so keep doing doing your thing....elevate yourself...peace

thx. eleete!! i appreciate it.

test.

Yea twas good for a first timer just check out the freestylin guides at the wackness emergency center and elevate based on those guidlines, i can see the potential in you haha