Broken Silence

This might now be that great technically...
But its something I needed to write
Bear with me

Broken Silence....

Living life in a tunnel hearing but echoes and groans
finding a symphony of sound within a woman’s moans
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Player like none other, getting ass in mounds
But these monotonous actions create monotone sounds
only music occurs is rageful when worlds collide
Then he realizes true music comes from the love inside
swallowed his pride, deciding playing is wrong
Time to take these notes and create the perfect love song
But he throngs for a woman worthy of this symphony
A perfect harmony, composed of deeper feeling
So it comes discreetly, the changes almost unnoticed
But now if a relationship would come he’d surely promote it
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Time passes, days to weeks and the silence deafens all
How can existence be flawed without music... something so small
Soon comes a call, so he hops in the car time to socialize
And to his amazement a perfect harmony played from a woman’s eyes
Pleasantries aside, they chat to a euphoric beat
Together for hours both dreading the solitude of sleep
So they embrace and dance into the night without movement
Both completely amazed out how much a chance happening meant
And the music was god sent, Chords and harmonies never heard in life..
Its like the man’s wrongs in one night had become right
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Relationship grew., sprouting love from attraction
Hearts beating to the same melody breeding perfect satisfaction
It’s like it was meant to be, two bodies with one soul
Never did it cross minds that the fire would grow cold
Didn’t know how this would end but both were content with bliss
Both sure not even Bach could compose something as perfect as this
Never pissed., Its like love was the only emotion in the spectrum
And any compliment ever given was said daily to her from him
Then love consummated. News came of a baby on the way.
Who’d of thought a 20 year old wouldn’t run away
...but instead celebrate such a day.
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Two weeks soon passed and it turns the baby wasn’t there
Both felt disappointed, but the perfect music still filled the air
More weeks passed and it seems the melody was growing old
Went from beautiful and bold to a story that’s been told
Both drunk and words were said, to this day neither knows why
Then came a sigh..... “I think this relationship is bound to die”
The man cringed at the thought but agreed somewhat
But laid awake nightly, in silence, cursing himself for being a dumb fuck
Of all the dumb luck, he ruined the only perfect thing in life
The inaudible sounds of feelings lost led to constant strife
Depression followed and came to a head with one last talk with her
Couldn’t resolve but it was clear both still madly loved each other
Alone for all time, the man cursed nightly whoever said silence is golden
Until the day it drew close......

............................*BANG*................ ..................
The silence was broken





(I still love you Julie......... and always will)

This was amazing..I'm gunna nominate this for legends for real..the flow was great the story line was very concrete with good vocab and structure...very impressive...Keep it up

Thank you

Nice drop trapt.....I know how you feel...It'll get better

bit slept on....

Even though you said it wasn't great technically, i thought it was alrite...the flow was pretty dope, you had some good internals and your use of vocab really fitted into the song perfectly.

But the real aspect was your emotion, i'm guessing it is a true, you put everything into this, and you showed that real pieces don't come through with flow and wordplay but wit emotion and that real desire to get your message through.

"only music occurs is rageful when worlds collide
Then he realizes true music comes from the love inside"

"Of all the dumb luck, he ruined the only perfect thing in life
The inaudible sounds of feelings lost led to constant strife" - to name a few dope bars....

Agree wit Prevailed that this should be nominated to Rb legends...4/5 dope dawg.



if you have time, not really our best piece but any feedback would be appreciated: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108666

real nice piece, very emotional which in this case turned out well, sometimes pieces that are too emotional turn out shite,the thing i didnt like were these things .
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which isnt a big thing.

drop an honest vote on my battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108195

Thanks