I Felt It

The urge to just write ran through my veins. I had to type something right here and right now...so I did...this is the result. It started off simplistic...but please read on.

It's twisted
how these kids end up with their wrists slit
Sick shit
Another depressed pissed off misfit
Listenin to disses
Bein thrown by a father figure
Till he's got guns drawn
And his grip slips to the trigger
With fears that are growin bigger
Cuz he's steady and ready to pull it
Then the glock cocks with a shot
That releases a vengeful bullet
Snaps and collapse into tears
Wishin someone would hold him
A sinner's innocence stripped
With one emotional moment
But that's the way it is
In this life of reality
When this expression we call love
Starts becoming a fallacy
Now tell me, How could this be?
What's wrong with the world today?
How can men be rapin babies
And women start givin their kids away?
I got shit to say
And I'm gonna make sure you hear it
With a rage that's caged
Released, and you're gonna fear it
An apprehensive spirit
That's lurking in the darkness
With a grain of salt
Told hold in the shadows of the heartless
An artist of nature's reforms
Chasin the storms
In the eyes of the cold
Rejected in the face of the norms
Innebriated by the poems
Through imagery's projection
Flat on the paper
burst free from their discretion
A reflection of thoughts
From the fountain of youth
With yodles and cries
From the mountain of truth
That amount to the cooth
As a study of times past
Unbeknownst to them
That it is truth!
As long as the times last
And the rhymes cast
Education to paupers
For a hope and dream
To relay to their daughters
Engaged in falters
That can change an eternity
Till the tears flowed for the mighty
Creating rivers that spurred the seeds
Of this Earth as it breathes
Winds heard through the leaves
Speaking of ancient battles
Enraged with the front lines
And how it was all for naught
If only I could change the times...

Sleepy Bitches >:-|

good vocab needs more work on struture but quite kool now read mine

^LoL..woulda prefered a critique...but quick and to the point will work. Structure is like that for a reason...in case you didn't notice :)

ha no gess im just a wannabe

Nice piece.I'm not putting up some huge reply in depth or quoting...lol, very good piece, good topic thought at one point to seemed to change the topic..Of course, you got back on track. Good vocab in it. No multies or metaphors but then again they wouldnt have a bearing on this type of written. Good Job.

I liked the piece..
It was in the sense of..like..emotion there..
Flowed swell with the vocab..
was a very purty piece..
Now much to talk about...
Long but because the lines were short..
"An artist of nature's reforms
Chasin the storms"
~something just caught me about that..

I appreciate the replies...but I think you guys are totally missing the meaning behind the lyrics.....

UP....reply to so many...and still get slept on...it's bullshit.

Def. an RnR structure here which I"m not a fan of at all....

But this was nice.... showed some good imagery while keeping a flow....

Decent topic.... could have been improved upon a bit but any topic can use that....

Overall, a good read.