I'm back from Hell.......

Recently I was shot in the leg and I was brought to the hospitol for surgery to get the slug out. I survived the ordeal but I wrote a little somethin' about it.Check it:

The streets are a dangerous place and there is no escape/
Everybody's gotta pay their dues, and their is constantly rape/
People endin' other peoples lives just for their own terms/
Puttin' people in caskets and feedin' them to the worms/
Well this is a lesson I learned about fuckin' with gangs/
Once their pissed, they get more primal than orangatangs/
I was sittin' in the barbershop, rappin' wit' the boys/
I guy walked by and said I was makin' too much noise/
Then started dissin' me for bein white, man that ain't right/
Asked me if I wanted to step out and start a fuckin' fight/
I accepted to his challenge and much to my suprise/
He took out a 9 and pointed in between my eyes/
I knocked his arm away so he shot straight at my shin/
Two seconds later I screamed and passed out, then this dream started to begin/
I was fallin' straight to hell and there was a lake of fire/
Then I woke up and discovered my life had yet to expire/

Ok check it..
It was a simplistic piece..however I understood the whole piece..
it maintained flow..

" was fallin' straight to hell and there was a lake of fire/
Then I woke up and discovered my life had yet to expire/"

your deepist line..I know that was God teeling you something and hopefully you will learn from it..

cool piece kinda short..Use more vocab because you lacked...however flow was on point and the story telling was on point..Nice real story...

Laters..

Yeah this was ok.....structure in this was alright i thought....kinda simple like bio said but it was still good i thought....try adding some multies to this to make it better....but you did have some good vocab in this....flow was pretty good i thought, it was pretty smooth....overall this was alright....keep at it.

..No one wants you..go back!

Yo, Penskills, why don't you go blow ya self? Lets so you spit some better shit.