Re: The help I would like..
For a start, don't center shit.. it's annoying. Can you show me an example of your work?
Re: The help I would like..
Ok, no more centering. Just thought it look a lil more structural.
Only thing bright about your future is the flash from the pics you'll take
If the lens dont break, u'll partake in a wake after my violent outbreak
Douche bag, u feeling shitty from the crap you never had, always stag
Cuz ya gear come plaid, n checker flagged, w.ya life inside a duffle bag
No need to downstage u wen u can't even upstage in a high on enrage
Drugs got ya defenses disengaged, and this bitch buggin, so i'll just raid
Whether ice, stone , bronze, dark, or iron age your punches still history
Not a mystery why your punches missin me, cause they're just inquiries
and that was a quick key i did in the diss the bitch above you, cypher.
Re: The help I would like..
Only thing bright about your future is the flash from the pics you'll take
If the lens dont break, u'll partake in a wake after my violent outbreak
Last part of the bar,should be a punch,and you talked about yourself
Douche bag, u feeling shitty from the crap you never had, always stag
Cuz ya gear come plaid, n checker flagged, w.ya life inside a duffle bag
you called him a bag twice,also the first and second line didnt link in + you never said why he would end up in a duffle bag
No need to downstage u wen u can't even upstage in a high on enrage
Drugs got ya defenses disengaged, and this bitch buggin, so i'll just raid
this bar was clearly just done to rhyme,it didnt seem to have much thought,+ once again the last thing you talked about was yourself,when it should be a punch @ your opponent
Whether ice, stone , bronze, dark, or iron age your punches still history
Not a mystery why your punches missin me, cause they're just inquiries
this bar didnt rhyme...history? inquiries? you mean to say querys? + the bar was very simple..
Overall you know the basics,but you need to be more creative,and direct your WHOLE verse at your opponent...also learn better concepts.. for instance :
if you were battling 50 cent on here,you can use nameplay/concepts on his name..
50 cent?
change
money
half a dollar
bank
^etc etc...link the persons name in with whatever is relevant... and the punch has more effect..
i hope this helped...
peace
Re: The help I would like..
Bes advice i can give you is just look at some past battles on how they attacked their opponent and get witty with it.. personals and concepts can help with harder punches.
Re: The help I would like..
Well, hulk just jacked this thread.. but all that and stop trying to rhyme so much in your lines. If your not that skilled at it yet, just stick to the couplet on the end.. because it chops your flow up so much.