Breaking Point

Dark days.

lonely nights.

head spinning.

endless fights.

Hectic thoughts...making my mind shake, try to relax, lay down, only to feel my heart race.

The need to gather my thoughts but they always seem to overtake.

I take a deep breath and let out an uneasy sigh.....

This feeling slowly takes over.....mind, body, and soul.

I sit up.....

Lay back down.....

Faced with losing control.

Get a grip.....I cant!!?!?

I wanna scream!

I wanna yell!

I need to hit something, anything just to release this anger.

I see red....all my feelings have turned cold.

At what point did I simply let go?

How cud all this be so real when inside i feel dead?

I get up but only to get knocked down again.

I feel it.....its coming....that weakness that holds me back, holds me down, lower then the ground.

I feerl sedated as the world walks over me.

I feel my anger rise, once again I hold it all in then just let go.....

I cave in.

I throw my head in my hands and cry as everything passes me by....

my happiness.

my life.

my world.

my love...........why??

why this stress the kind that just takes over and eats at the best?

head pounding.

mind bottling.

I cant eat.

I cant sleep.

falling hard.

falling deep.

wanting to hold on as i watch myself let go.

I've reached my peak.

I dont even believe the words that I speak.

I've tried so hard only to realize..................I'm weak.

Hm...an interesting piece. Real good emotion. I liked how you expressed ureself.Ure flow was differnt throughout the whole piece. Example :

Quote:

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Dark days.

lonely nights.

head spinning.

endless fights.

Hectic thoughts...making my mind shake, try to relax, lay down, only to feel my heart race.

---

U switched from short words, to sentances. Interesting, and i have to say it made me enjoy it a lil more. Very Nice :)

not bad not bad...keep it coming, im curious to see more from you. I like how you had some lines as sentances and some just as short words... very nice.

7.5/10

peace

dopeness...u told the me the whole way thru how ure feelin..and made me feel the same...all except the cryin ive had them days..weeks...months...but ne ways...i liked the way u switched up between words to sentences to short sencetences to juss pure emotion i was feelin that...nice drop...keep writing... -shi-

That was amazing. I really felt it. Your a very talented writing. I love how you can write so deep. peace,

CrAcKeD

Truthfull criticism? You wrote down exactly what was in your head onto paper/keyboard. There's not much to it. Suprisingly, there was quite a lot in your head, so a lot of respect gotta go for that. But... admittivley, such rawness is dime a dozen. Still, you could probably go quite a way with some refinement. I'd like to see that.

thanks for the FB yall

Yes poetry is not to make it rhyme is to write from yo heart and put in yo keyboard. I think u could work on yo structure it would be easier to read and also shorter ..lol but overall nice shit.

check mine show some love..