Lifted

Some real shit, sure some can relate

Lifted

Its fucked up when goose bumps make ya quiver hot
Frozen hands, pouring sweat, feet feeling like a cinder block
Whole body stiff like ya about to enter shock, its slow movin
Fuck, your at this place again, how could you be so stupid
Vision is so lucid, you know that there's a better way
Hit ya knees and ya hesitate, its been so long dont know what to say
God I've been lead astray, I should be speakin with ya every day
I forever pray,
God I'm sorry, please forgive me for these sins I've made
I'm so afraid, I'm reach for ya now cuz its never too late
I'm so ashamed, overwhelming pain you can see it in my face
How many times is it ganna take til I start walking in my faith?
How many times have I been lost and caught up in this place?
How many times will I hit rock bottom before I change
I got the devil all up in my face and I feel like such a disgrace
All this guilt and shame is just so hard to embrace
How many times will I engulf my life in flames before I break
But your all powerful and great,
Everytime I'm caught up in this place you over me your grace
God I Love You. I keep going against you with how I'm livin
I pray that I never again stray from the path you have written
I pray that you guide me and help me stop all of the sinning
God I'm grateful to be alive will you let me be forgiven?
This battle is never ending, I'm never winning,
This hell I've been living is pure misery
But maybe my history is meant for me
And God is givin me the humility and strength for victory
Its a mystery, Im struggling thru this life just look into my eyes
Maybe hes just preparing me for a blessing in disguise
And so I Pray
I'm not looking to the skies im looking in my heart
God please help me, have mercy and show me where to start
Its been so hard, my whole worlds fallen apart but I feel gifted
Cuz spiritually in my darkest moments the Lord has me lifted

- - - Updated - - -

I replied to several pieces.

Hey King G! I'm a spiritual type and I appreciate the value what the ideas of region have to offer us, I'm feeling like this could be a born again piece after facing the deconstructing impact of, perhaps, a H type of addiction if you know what i mean. How you described the beginning was a strong view point and kept up with some pretty cool internal multis which carries a style along quite well! "frozen hands, poaring sweat" is a good example of instances that can play a powerful role in deep descriptions while keeping a readers more attentive to detail. I Think this had a positive outlook though and i really respect that man, although i think god is a great concept and inevitability because of a human conscious and how strong our reality really is, when it is what were given, and really cant be wasted to a false sense of devotion when its really played off moral right and wrong decisions considering an afterlife, the key is most have been layered out to be blue prints for how we can lead and live our life happily according to them you know? Anyways the flow was good, and an addiction piece or god piece by themselves have less impact than a good twist to tie them strongly together. Thanks for the read!

Well since u left some ass feed on my joint ill go ahead and give you some constructive criticism. The message of the piece i really liked. The vocab content and the rhyme scheme of it was basic it had similarities of every "talk to god themed song" that you hear. There was no creative use of metaphorical comparisons used. I just felt the content was basic. Emotion was there.


Vision is so lucid, you know that there's a better way
Hit ya knees and ya hesitate, its been so long dont know what to say
God I've been lead astray, I should be speakin with ya every day
I forever pray,
God I'm sorry, please forgive me for these sins I've made
I'm so afraid, I'm reach for ya now cuz its never too late
I'm so ashamed, overwhelming pain you can see it in my face
How many times is it ganna take til I start walking in my faith?
How many times have I been lost and caught up in this place?
How many times will I hit rock bottom before I change
I got the devil all up in my face and I feel like such a disgrace
All this guilt and shame is just so hard to embrace

Like this for example some basic rhyme scheme and vocab content has a powerful message like similiar to a Jcole track. Yes its real but theres really no metaphorical creativity.

Thank you fellas for your feedback I truly appreciate it

Lamb Chawp I appreciate the constructive help, this piece was a very personal piece though and I wrote it in a very very bad frame of mind
I definitely wasnt going for creativity or metaphors. I wasnt thinking in a witty manner.

Lets just be happy it rhymes haha. Appreciate it, Ill work on my feedback game, and my writing game as well.

- - - Updated - - -
@_Lyrics I pray you don't know too much what this piece is about my man.

Appreciate the feed back bro